Loss my soulmate of 11.5 years😪

[Maquito]

My beautiful partner Paul who I shared 11.5 years of my life lost his battle to cancer and Crohns Disease last Wednesday at the age of 39.

I find myself staring at the phone hoping to ring and hear his voice or the bell of a new message from him. I walk the streets of Melbourne feeling empty, knowing that there’s no place where I can find him to have a chat or give him a hug and tell him how much I love him.

Christmas is coming and he loved Christmas, we even prepared together the menu. All ads about ham and king prawns (which he wanted to have) or Christmas movies that he liked remind me of him.

Everything reminds me of him. My Ratoncito (little mouse), as I used to call him. I miss you so much 😪

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[onlinecommunity]

Dear @Maquito,

Our hearts go out to your for the loss of your beloved Paul. We are glad you have reached out to the community here on the forums for support at this difficult time.

It sounds like you have been through a really tough time supporting Paul as he battled cancer and Crohns and now dealing with his loss. Right now you are in a stage of acute grief where getting through each day is a win in itself. And yet you already show some key strengths which will help you through…reaching our for social support ensures your grief is witnessed and validates your loss. It also helps you to share the burden of your grief because you should not shoulder this alone. Do you also have friends or family who you can reach out to? Perhaps someone who will join you on your walks and listen as you speak his name and reminisce about the places you went and things you did together?

We talk more about seeking Comfort and Help from Others on our Coping with Grief page here on the Resource Hub; https://griefline.org.au/resources/understanding-the-symptoms-of-grief/ including the following;

“Force yourself to be around people and do things – even when it feels too hard. Try to have at least one thing in your calendar every day, along with a back-up.
Allow yourself to grieve in public – it’s perfectly ok to have a cry.”

The EAST approach is also helpful in these early days…https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-toolkit/
Eating well, trying to get your usual amount of sleep, keeping active in some way and scheduling events such as time with trusted friends and family can help give you the strength and resilience you need to push through.

As you gain your strength there are more coping strategies to turn to in the months to come and we are here to support you on your journey so please keep in touch and let us know how you’re travelling.

We are here for you @Maquito 🌸

[Author]

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