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Thank you so much for your heartfelt message Marisa. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It made me cry to think of the what you must be going through and you thought of responding to me.
Mum and I both knew Dad wasn’t eating and were encouraging him to see a Doctor. Looking back now I feel it was incontinence was the reason he didn’t want to go to hospital. It’s awfully sad.
I wasn’t coping with the death of my Father and was grieving with my Mother whilst caring for her after she had Colorectal Surgery to remove a tumour. I have two brothers but they have family and love far away. I feel like I put unnecessary stress on my Mother. Also looking back now I can see the first symptoms of stroke two weeks before her death. I failed to act because I was in a heavy state of grief depression. To carry this is enormous but I feel like the facts are all there. My Mother visited a Doctor 5 days before her death but they didn’t pick up on anything either.
I have been ringing Griefline and Lifeline daily but no matter what when I wake up the feelings of guilt are there in the clear light of day. I have been listening to endless amount of books on grief. I am not really sure if they are helping or not. I am starting to see a Psychologist from next week as well.
I am trying but I feel this guilt will never go away and I deserve to be punished for this.
Thank you for your message Marisa, I am thinking of you in your time of sadness and loss.