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Hi Scully,
Thank you for sharing your story with us all and I really feel the sadness and shock in the words you have written and would like you to know that there are many people here for you when and as needed. One thing that really resonated with me was how you described your work environment, where your colleagues are pretending to confuse sympathy with empathy. It often happens that people are unsure of what to say, how to respond, sometimes saying nothing or saying to much and the bereaved person is left having to navigate all of these interactions on top of their loss. It is during this time that finding the right support for you is so vital. I hear that your whole world has turned itself inside and out and upside down and that during this time you will be caring so lovingly and supporting your children as well but it is so important that there is support for you too. Of course, that support can come in many different guises – it can be friends, family, neighbours, strangers, forums such as this, online resources and professional grief counsellors to name but a few. It really is one moment at a time as you grieve the loss of your husband and everything that he represented – your dreams, your relationship, parenting of your children, your future together. It sounds like taking the time away from work even though it was unpaid and a financial sacrifice was necessary to allow you to feel and grieve in a safe and more comfortable space.
In ensuring you take care of yourself in the coming weeks and months below is a link to our well being Toolkit. I hope it is helpful for you.
Sending support and strength – we are here for you.