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Thank you for your post, writing is something that initially I thought of as an outlet. It definitely serves that purpose, but now I’m starting to realise it’s a space where we can explore that grief too.
I’ve found writing down memories really helpful, because they often crop up unexpectedly. This morning I had honey on toast for the first time in years, and in the first bite I could picture making honey joys for my Dad or his birthday. I could be cutting up tomato’s, and I can see him spreading tomato seeds on paper towel to dry. Things at the time easily taken for granted.
Small simple happy memories are a beautiful reminder of all the good we had, and I find my memory of things that were bad don’t mean as much to me as they used to.