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I’m sorry to hear about the recent loss of your mum and on top of that, the struggles you are experiencing within your romantic relationship. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate and understandably only have enough capacity to deal with one thing at a time. By not overwhelming ourselves with too much is how we give compassion to ourselves so good on you for establishing those boundaries. It also sounds like your relationship has been tense for you ever since you found out that your mum was in ICU which has resulted in you feeling alone and unsupported during a difficult time of your life. I’d just like to commend you for reaching out here on the Griefline forums, as finding support and a community during this time can be greatly beneficial. We tend to feel more alone and isolated in our grief because “who can truly understand the pain that is involved with experiencing a loss” but seeking support on here, you will find stories that may resonate with your own and provide a bit of comfort.
Feeling exhausted is a common symptom of grief, and identifying that is important as you can implement self-care techniques to try and combat this .https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-toolkit/.Here is also a resource on coping with grief https://griefline.org.au/resources/understanding-the-symptoms-of-grief/
the resource provided also includes a section on “how to support someone who is grieving” which you may want to show to your partner or to read through for your own understanding.