I am sorry to hear about the loss of your best friend. Thank you for sharing and reaching out. It is understandable that you are struggling to cope with the saddness of losing someone with whom you have shared so much, and had anticipated being there with you through your life’s journeys. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself the time you need to process what has happened. Everyone grieves differently. However, while often immensely painful, grief is our natural healing process in response to loss. If you would like someone to talk to please reach out by calling Griefline on 1300 845 745. You are not alone. https://griefline.org.au/get-help/free-telephone-support/
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.