I was wondering how you are feeling at the moment and if you found the articles that vmmulan posted to be helpful in your journey?
My Grammy recently died, she was like a mum to me and I remember feeling the same way you’ve described. I remind myself daily that my Grammy would have wanted me to continue smiling the way I did when she was around, so now the guilt for me has lessened substantially. I’m sure your sister would want you to feel joy without feelings of guilt too. : )
We would love to hear back from you so we can support you. x