Reply To: Buried my son on xmas eve

[debsayge]

Ohh moon and dear friends listening, thank you so much for the encouragement ….so sorry to you all for being here!!! Moon your darling Jezza anniversary was on my birthday!!! The enduring of it coming up then having to get through it was extremely painful (for the 2nd time) I’ve been sooo distressed and feel like so alone without Sayge,we always had a tradition of so much (gifts lovingly made, h/made cards full of beauty n giving Mumma always spoiled) I had a couple of friends who tried to be there, and we’re but I just feel like I’m on the outside looking in, then they go back to normal life !! Lucky them…..
Do you struggle with fear Moon? Or anyone, I’m afraid of everything now, can’t cope with anything at all really, I’m sorry to admit my gentle quiet nature has been wracked by this whole thing….do you too feel like your whole life all you’ve put in to create a beautiful small family has been just shattered….and where did that come from and what can we possibly learn here…so sudden I feel like we were on a runaway train so fast so frightening, my Sayge so gentle caring thoughtful what for…
I wanted to tell you ( we home learned) Sayge was learning French, with (like everything) such dedication….she also played the piano beautifully so amazing…. For you music lady, I so appreciate your music language but I actually can’t listen to anything, it’s all to painful…but I’m glad you can do that for you and it helps….
I feel you are a brave lady Moon, sharing as you do, going through such hell with your beautiful boy…I am here with you all
Fears and all, most times I can hardly move, please share about this…
Love and strength to us all to make it though another excruciating day, too much to bare, too much is lost
XxDeb