Hi everyone, apologies for all my music videos, just a way I express myself best. It was a language I shared with my son, when no words were needed.
So impossible to believe he will never share his latest playlist with me ever again. What am I to do without him listening beside me ?
This weekend has been horrible and can’t end soon enough. How can it be 5 months already ? Is it really so ? My unending tears, remind it is true..
I walk from room to room in this cold empty house devoid of his presence, but so vividly alive with memories. I sit on his bed and miss him so very much.
Just a few weeks beforehand we were sitting in front of my computer together deciding which photos to print out, cause even if I’ve got boxes still to put in albums I want real photos, not an usb stick. Ask me if I finished our project yet – no. I can’t look at all our happy snaps, yet, need someone to do it for me.
On Friday arvo I caught up briefly with my gf’s (mums’ of my sons bf’s). I wasn’t expecting her son to be home, haven’t seen him since the funeral. It was good that his girlfriend was there to lighten the convo, hard for him, hard for me hearing about the life my son should be living alongside them. I could tell my sons’ friend felt reticent sharing, but I miss chatting with youth so felt good for a moment. Other friend newly uncle, wow , yet another thing my son is missing out on.
Hey debsayge, I don’t find it miserable that we find comfort here, I mean, honestly who else can hold our hand through this, only those that walk beside us. Family, friends, faith disappeared a very long time ago, so I need this. Here it’s okay to say that you still lie awake in the early hours of the morning, waiting for the morning bird to break the silence of the night, with fearful dread of yet another day. Let’s keep chatting please xx