Hi djc4, hugs from another grievingmum, was 5mths on Friday since I lost my son. I too, find myself mourning other loved ones.
I’m no stranger to depression either having struggled with mental health most of my life, I know that deep abyss very well and am trying to be mindful not to fall into it again.
It is possible that your ongoing grief might be masking something that needs further exploration, ie chat with your gp , blood tests to rule out any chemical imbalances, a psych appt who can prescribe an anti-depressant and therapy if needed, I know I do – my head is too often my worst enemy. We’re here for you and listening xx