Reply To: Buried my son on xmas eve

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#20293
Moon
Participant

Hello my friends. Some rays of sunshine yay. Hopefully some more for easter long weekend.
I reckon if I weeded my garden properly (but too many funnel webs) I’d still find hidden eggs somewhere from my 4 kids plus all their friends, when they were young, and not so young, still did it as teenagers, I remember one of Jeremy’s keen mates getting stuck up a tree not so long ago…
I’m sorry if my post triggers anyone reading, I know that it can be a very lonely period for too many of us. I know I’ll be spending it alone but that’s ok.
I’d like to change the name of my original post to something more positive now, don’t really know how to ? but have posted here and there to others’ bereaved, so I might meet you in the upcoming zoom support group, or elsewhere, hopefully. Think I’ll introduce myself under my name, not my son’s from now on.
It’s been so hard finding any support elsewhere, so I truly appreciate this space to write some of my thoughts down. Too often, they swirl in my head..
Past and impossible potential future memories wake me each day before dawn. It’s so hard to accept that time stands still between my son and I.
I want to hear his voice, cheeky chuckle again, I want to play cards and dance around to his fav music together one more time. I want him here..
He is not, but I still am. Sometimes not really wanting to be, as I can’t picture a tomorrow without my child, but then something sweet, unexpected will happen, like a butterfly landing on my shoulder, or a bird singing me his song on my balcony… I notice these moments. > I thanks for listening xx

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