Wow. Thank you for writing this.
I sound fairly similar to yourself.
I’ve always battled with my mental health but since my late husband was diagnosed with Cancer in 2016 and died in 2017 I feel like I can’t stop crying over the trauma and the grief. I’ve always been proactive with my mental health but I’ve got to the point where I’ve tried many therapies and I still don’t know what my sense of purpose is anymore. I cry and miss him every day. I have a form of complicated grief.
I’m glad that you are finding a way forward.
I just keep plodding along until I do find a ‘fix’ as I believe there is still something I haven’t tried.