Home / Lets Talk About Grief / Kia’s story: When the nurse becomes the grieving sister
Kia’s story: When the nurse becomes the grieving sister
Types of loss:
- Sibling loss
Kia is a palliative care nurse — someone who has spent her career helping others find comfort and dignity at the end of life. But when her younger sister Cherece died of cervical cancer at just 36, Kia’s professional and personal worlds collided in painful and unexpected way.
This is Kia’s story, in her own words:
Working in palliative care has always been a calling for me—holding space for others at the end of life, helping them find peace, dignity, and comfort. But nothing could have prepared me for what it would feel like when it was my own sister who was dying. Knowing what I know—about pain, about decline, about death—felt both like a gift and a curse. I understood the medical systems, the language, the stages of dying. I could advocate for her, push for proper symptom management, ask the right questions. But that professional knowledge made it harder in many ways. There was no room for denial, no soft edges. I could see every sign for what it truly was. While others around us held on to hope, I already knew how limited our time was. I was both her sister and her nurse, and carrying both roles at once was overwhelming. I longed to just be her sister—to cry freely, to fall apart—but I felt like I had to be the strong one, the knowledgeable one, the calm presence. It broke me quietly.
Since losing her, the grief sits with me every day. It’s not loud or always visible, but it’s ever-present. I miss her in everything—in the moments I want to tell her something, in the silence after a long shift, in the things only she would understand. The yearning for her is part of my routine now, tucked into everything I do. Some days I function like I used to; others I feel like I’m barely holding on.
What I wish people understood is how uniquely painful it is to work in palliative care while grieving your own. People assume that because we work in death, we must somehow be used to it—that it’s easier for us. But it’s not. If anything, we feel it deeper. We carry stories of our patients alongside the weight of our own loss. We know the suffering too well. And while we show up for others every day, we’re often hiding our own brokenness. Just because we can talk about dying doesn’t mean we’re not hurting inside. Sometimes the hardest part is pretending we’re okay when we’re still trying to survive our own grief.
Grief hasn’t left Kia — it has simply become part of her. As she continues to care for others in their final days, she carries her own loss gently in the background. What she wants people to understand is this: those who work in death don’t become immune to it. If anything, they feel it more deeply — and still show up, broken and brave.
Support resources
If you’re grieving, you don’t have to face it alone.
The following resources can help you find support, connect with others who understand, and explore practical tools for living with grief.
- Griefline helpline – free support, 365 days a year, call 1300 845 745
- Griefline online forums for peer-to-peer support and connection
Additional resources
Palliative Care Australia
For support, information, and connection, Palliative Care Australia provides resources to help individuals, families, and carers navigate life-limiting illness, dying, and grief. Whether you’re seeking care options, planning ahead, or coping with loss, their tools and services ensure no one faces this journey alone. Visit palliativecare.org.au to learn more.Crisis and emergency support
If you are experiencing crisis, or are worried about yourself or someone else, please contact Lifeline by phoning 13 11 14 or by texting 0477 13 11 14
Kids Helpline is available 24/7 to support young people aged between five and 25, call 1800 551 800
