Emily was 20 when her dad died — her safe space, her biggest supporter, and the person she could turn to for anything. Their bond was rooted in honesty, humour, and unconditional love.

What followed was a grief that touched every part of her life — made harder by how invisible it felt. While the world moved on, Emily faced milestones, relationships, and self-discovery without the parent who had always been by her side.

This is Emily’s story, in her own words:

My life was forever changed by grief when I lost my father five years ago, at the age of 20.

We had a beautiful relationship — the kind where I could go to him for anything, even the typical “girl” topics people might usually save for a mum or close friend. As I got older, that bond only grew stronger.

Of course, like any father-daughter relationship, we had our ups and downs — especially during my teenage years — but I always felt deeply supported and understood by him. Despite the pressures of his work and ongoing health challenges, he showed up for me whenever he could.

My Dad was, and still is, an incredible inspiration. His strength, optimism, and unique outlook on life are just some of the qualities I continue to admire. We shared so many things — especially a love of food. Some of my most cherished memories are simply being in his presence, like the times I’d go into work with him and we’d always grab take-out together.

When it comes to losing a parent at a young age, I wish people understood the impact it has on all areas of your life including how it changes and disrupts your sense of self. Many people think that because you grew up with your parent in childhood, made memories with them, got to know who they were as a person that it is ‘easier’ losing a parent as a young person/adolescent. In reality, it is extremely difficult particularly as you are going through periods of change, transition, self-discovery and typically when the relationship changes with your parent as you emerge into young adulthood.

Also, a lot of attention is usually placed on the other parent who is now left widowed and how hard it must be for them, and no care, support or attention is given to the children (despite them adolescents/young adults) whose world has also just been turned upside down. Additionally, the impact it can have on your worldviews, confrontation of your own mortality and having to face milestones in life without the support and presence of a parent who was your biggest support and cheerleader in life.

Due to what I have mentioned above my grief journey has felt isolating and I have often felt invalidated and misunderstood by those around me. It has felt isolating not knowing other people in my life who have lost a parent as a young person and feeling so far removed from the typical late adolescent/early adulthood life. Feeling as though I am unable to relate to a lot of other people my age who are going to parties, spending time with friends, getting into relationships, going away, etc. when I am dealing with grief, loss and death.

I have often found that when people do listen, they listen to respond and not to truly understand and hear. They listen and respond in ways that they feel are helpful when in reality they are dismissing and invalidating my experience and brushing it off because it feels too difficult to sit with and talk to me. I have lost friends and people in my life because of this.