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I am absolutely heartbroken with the loss of our 2-year-old AmStaff Shar Pei cross Bronze 3 weeks ago. I have read through a few of the threads here and have posted a couple of comments, but I wanted to write something more substantial: 1. hoping some kind members of this community might offer some words of comfort (I already rang the Griefline a few days after Bronze passed), 2. Because it might help me by sharing my feelings and 3. Because I really want to share just what a beautiful big boy Bronze was.
At the start of the year my wife and I started looking after our daughter’s pup Bronze after she had to suddenly move cities for work and couldn’t find a pet-friendly lease at short notice. We loved him as our own and were devastated when he passed so suddenly in November. Unbeknownst to us he had swallowed something which damaged his insides and after being full of beans one morning same as any other day, he later did a couple of vomits and while not appearing to be dangerously or violently ill, he clearly wasn’t himself so we booked him into the vet. But there was nothing they could do and we had to make the heartbreaking decision to let Bronze go. From Bronze running around at the park chasing the ball to saying our tearful goodbyes was just over 24 hours.
As well as the shock of losing Bronze so suddenly, I was left questioning how could this happen? We have always been such loving, responsible pet owners. We always avoid things like cooked bones or rawhide treats or sticks because of the risks they pose. But after hearing the experiences of some others here and learning more about what happened to Bronze, I soon accepted there was nothing we could have done. By the time we saw him vomit it was already too late. The vet said it was likely he swallowed something like a rope whole. If he had chewed it into small chunks or nibbled off pieces it likely wouldn’t have been a problem, but swallowing it whole did the damage. Since none of us noticed any missing toy or can even recall something of that description (he had big tug of war ropes but they were still here), it’s possible he just wolfed something down at the park or out on a walk or some long-lost item in a backyard garden in the time before he became ill. Even if I had seen him eat something like that with my own eyes, I probably wouldn’t have grasped the risk. He had previously chewed kennel panels, the canvas cover for his sleep crate and any number of rubber toys and they all just ended up as pellets in his poops. But accepting this as a freakish accident is one thing. Accepting that we won’t get to see Bronze grow into a beautiful old boy is proving much harder.
At first Bronze was a handful, but as we spent more time with him (and invested in training) I absolutely loved watching him grow into an intelligent, obedient big boy who loved running around chasing a ball or contorting his body like an Olympic high diver to catch flavoured bubbles we would blow into the air. I loved his physique, lean and athletic, but with rippling muscle across his chest and legs. If he was human he would have been a 100-metre sprinter or a rugby league star. And as much as he could go a million miles an hour, he was at his beautiful best when he was sleepy and curled up in his crate when he could barely keep his eyes open but the thump of his wagging tail would continue as we enjoyed our goodnight cuddles. I would stroke his head and say: You’re a big boy, but you’re a good boy.
Fiercely protective of our home, he would bark whenever anyone came to the front door or inside the house, but over time he would take our cues that everything was all right. I love the way he looked at me when a tradie walked down the hallway like ”Is he cool?” Yeah Bronzey boy, he’s cool. By Halloween, as dozens and dozens of kids knocked on our door, I barely heard a peep out of Bronze. He was becoming more and more comfortable. He wore a bandana which said: will do tricks for treats. I meant to take a photo of him wearing it but it eventually fell off and the night got late.
And that is just one of the things we’ll never get to experience with Bronze again. He loved bubbles so much that we always wanted to have spare bottles at the ready. Now we have bottles he will never get to enjoy. There are frozen bones and fruit slices in the freezer we will never get to give him.
We have donated some of his bedding and toys to animal charities so they can go to a good cause and we plan on keeping a box of mementos such as his favourite Frisbee and a chew toy which used to stick out of his mouth like a giant cigar. I have a folder of his photos and videos on my phone where he looks so happy and full of life, getting absolutely obsessed with the sprinkler on a hot day, or sitting solemnly on the trampoline while I ask him if he would like to play a game of bubbles. I don’t know if I will ever be able to look at a sprinkler or bubbles without sadness ever again.
I can only imagine what it must be like for parents to lose a toddler or teenager and feel robbed of that precious gift of a long, happy life. I feel so sad that our family won’t get to experience any more adventures with Bronze after watching him blossom into such a great dog. I’m gutted for my wife who is such an amazing Dog Mum and took such care and effort in making him frozen milky treats for hot days and I’m gutted for my daughter who was planning to take Bronze back full-time when she got a new lease next year which would hopefully allow pets. I am grateful she had been home visiting for a couple of weeks and got to spend plenty of time with him at the end.
I lost my childhood dog when he developed a stomach tumour at 12. I lost my dad after a long and devastating terminal illness. But this, losing such a happy, healthy young boy with so much life ahead of him so suddenly has really rocked me in a completely different way. I know with time I will learn to come to terms with this, but right now, it is so hard because I miss him so much. There’s a saying about pets that they are our favourite hello and our hardest goodbye. Bronze has definitely been my hardest goodbye. I’ll always love him and I’ll never forget him.- This topic was modified 1 day, 12 hours ago by .
- This topic was modified 1 day, 12 hours ago by .
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