Griefline
Healthdirect Australia Logo: Trusted Information Partner, providing government-funded health information for Australians.

Helpline 1300 845 745

8am to 8pm: 7 days (AEST)

Sudden loss of my 59 year old son

Resize text-+=

Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › Sudden loss of my 59 year old son

  • Creator
    Topic
  • September 5, 2025 at 8:41 am #41973
    chooko
    Participant

    It has been 5 weeks since I received that phone call telling me Micheal had passed away from a heart attack, he was a wonderful man, a friend to all, he was a great son and a fantastic uncle to all his nieces and nephews, he had a wacky sense of humour and I miss his daily messages and jokes.
    I am lost , confused , angry, some days I cope and others I crash and burn.
    My other children are all grieving , my step children don’t acknowledge my grief, my husband is very supportive and hurt that his children appear to lack empathy, their mother passed away from breast cancer before I met their dad so maybe they are triggered by my grief.
    I nursed Micheal’s dad at home before he passed from cancer 14 years ago, I did most of my grieving before he passed ( or so I thought) this is completely different, I am struggling with anxiety and sleepless nights,
    Within a 10 year period I lost both my parents, 2 brothers a sister then my husband, Covid pandemic sent me into a spin and I was diagnosed with GAD , I have managed with self help books Clair Weekes has been my salvation but it’s not helping me at the moment as I am just lost. I am 79 and would love peace from all this .
    I love and miss my son , how do you get through this.
    Thank you for listening

  • Creator
    Topic
Viewing 2 replies - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Replies
  • September 7, 2025 at 10:01 am #41978
    VM-Johann
    Participant

    Dear @chooko

    Thank you for sharing your story and being so open with how you are feeling right now. I can get a real sense of what Michael meant to other family members, as well as how he was a daily presence in your life. Having been through so many other episodes of loss in recent history, it sounds like he may have been a great support to you in those moments as well?

    As Yanwl13 described, it is completely normal and understandable that you might be feeling overwhelmed by this right now, and that your capacity to handle each day may be different on different days. It is heartening to hear that you do have ongoing support from your children and husband. It is also very insightful and empathetic to see that some of your extended family may have grief being triggered previous events. I can read a great self-awareness of not only of how you are feeling but those around you, and that is a strength in this difficult time.

    You wrote that you have been diagnosed with GAD – do you have current and ongoing support from a health professional? Because all of these experiences can be difficult to manage as separate issues, I don’t know if you have had the opportunity to talk to them about what is happening and whether they can also offer additional support options for you?

    Hopefully the Griefline resources linked above can provide some other support for you in the meantime. Please feel able to continue to write to us if you can, and let us know how you are going in the coming days and weeks. There are many on here willing to hear your feelings, stories and offer ongoing support for you.

    September 5, 2025 at 11:14 am #41974
    VM-Yanw13
    Participant

    Hi @chooko

    Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt message. I can feel the depth of your love for Micheal in every word, the way you describe his humour, his kindness, and the joy he brought to those around him. He sounds like someone who truly lit up the lives of others, and it’s clear how deeply he is missed.

    Grief can be so disorienting, especially when it arrives suddenly and shakes the very foundation of our world. The mix of emotions you’re feeling right now is completely valid. Some days might feel manageable, and others might feel like too much. That’s okay. There’s no map for this kind of loss, and no right way to move through it.

    Sounds like you’ve also carried so much over the years—losing your parents, siblings, your husband, and now Michael. That’s an extraordinary amount of heartache, and it’s no wonder that your body and mind are feeling overwhelmed. It’s also understandable that your grief feels different this time. It must be especially hard when your grief isn’t acknowledged by everyone around you. You’ve shown such empathy in trying to understand your stepchildren’s reactions, even while navigating your own sorrow. That speaks to your strength and compassion. I’m glad to hear your husband is supportive—having someone beside you who sees your pain can make a world of difference.

    You mentioned that you are managing your journey with anxiety with self help books, and I just want to honour the resilience you’ve shown in finding ways to cope. Just want to let you know that you don’t have to carry this alone. You can always call the helpline at 1300 845 745, available 8am to 8pm, or reach out at the forum for support. Additionally, the Griefline website has many resources that may offer comfort and guidance, including articles on grief and loss.

    ” target=”_blank”>https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/

    Sometimes even small insights can help us feel a little less adrift. If it feels right, you might consider sharing more about Micheal—his jokes, his quirks, the memories that make you smile. Keeping his spirit close can be a gentle way to honour your bond.

  • Author
    Replies
Viewing 2 replies - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Subscribe to our newsletter

Enter your details to stay up to date with our news and programs. You can unsubscribe at any time.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.