Gf’s pet died, seeking advice…..

Hi asianboy,

Thank you for reaching out. My heart goes out to your girlfriend in her time of grief. The bonds we have with our pets are as important and fulfilling as any other relationship in our lives. This means the grief we experience when we lose a pet is as strong and as overwhelming as any other loss a person can experience.

We cannot definitively say what will or will not be suitable for your girlfriend. The only person who can say what will help with your girlfriend’s grieving process with any real certainty is your girlfriend. We often suggest that it is crucial to make space and be present for the person who is grieving and this requires a combination of approaches. Asking direct, specific questions in a well-timed conversation is one way to begin to carve out and hold space for your girlfriend. This will require a lot of patience on your part as you navigate your girlfriend’s boundaries and learn to be guided by her responses. Grief is an experience with no set end date or trajectory, so be prepared to have many conversations about your girlfriend’s loss.

If you feel you don’t have the right words to say to your girlfriend right now, it’s okay to be honest about that while keeping the focus on your girlfriend. These do not always have to be long conversations, it is entirely okay to keep it brief and meet your girlfriend where she’s at. Keeping it brief will also help you avoid relying on superficial and dismissive platitudes that diminish your girlfriend’s grief and unintentionally create distance. If your girlfriend is open to physical touch, you can also communicate empathy and create a safe emotional environment without words through non-verbal actions such as hugs, a hand on the shoulder, or hand squeezes.

With all that said, a pet portrait is one great way to honour your girlfriend’s dog. Other things we recommend include holding a ceremony, planting a tree, getting a plaque, getting jewellery, or doing something creative like writing a story or making a piece of art. You and your girlfriend can choose to do all of these or none of these. Together you can come up with something entirely unique to your girlfriend’s dog that could involve his favourite toys, foods, locations, and activities. The point is to place importance on the role your girlfriend’s dog played in her life and have her love and grief witnessed by others.

Feel free to check out Griefline’s resources on losing a pet and supporting a loved one through grief for further written guidance on how to support your girlfriend with her grief:

Supporting a Grieving Friend – Ways to help someone who is grieving

Losing a Pet

Please reach out to Griefline’s helpline if you or your girlfriend would like to speak with one of our trained volunteers for further support. You can call 1300 845 745 7 days a week 8 am- 8pm AEST.

You also have the option to book a call with one of our volunteers at a time that suits you through our Request a Call Back Service. Click the link below to book:
https://calendly.com/griefline_request_a_callback/30min?month=2025-0

definitely! I did this with my dog Bonnie, it really helped still being able to see her and was a nice memorial. Choose a photo that shows her personality or maybe from a special moment.