Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › Lost my wife
- This topic has 14 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 2 weeks ago by phill.
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October 10, 2024 at 8:46 am #34267phillParticipant
My name is phill
I lost my wife 2 weeks ago to cancer.
Julie was my best friend and I miss her so much, I am trying to do the best for myself as we discussed what she wanted me to doI am just sad for my loss but I know she is still with me in my heart
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April 4, 2025 at 8:55 pm #37737phillParticipant
6 months and i miss her so much
January 28, 2025 at 6:49 pm #36326VMPatchParticipantHello @phil
Times like Xmas and birthdays are really tough. I am wondering how you managed to get through those times? Also please remember Griefline is there is if you want call us during a tough time on 1300 845 745.January 23, 2025 at 10:15 am #36253VM-EmszyParticipantHi @phill,
Yes, the special/milestone days can be hard and they are the obvious ones, we know it. Birthdays, Christmas, Anniversaries, etc. They are the ones you know may activate your grief in some way. There are also the ordinary, mundane, run of the mill days that can be hard too. When we have lost that person our life was intricately intwined with even the simplest, most routine, days can be difficult – sometimes more difficult. So please remember you are not alone, call the helpline on 1300 845 745 whenever you need support. Take care Phil.
January 21, 2025 at 2:27 pm #36172VM-Serenity66ParticipantHi @phill,
Christmas and other special dates can certainly be difficult. Well done for getting through all that and reconnecting. If you would find it helpful to talk about how this is unfolding for you, or just to talk about your memories of Julie, please feel free to call the Helpline on 1300 845 745 to connect with a volunteer. Some people find writing down their memories and feelings in a journal to be comforting. I wonder if that is something that might be useful for you if it feels too difficult to talk.
This is an article about mindfulness practices that has a little about journaling at the end. https://griefline.org.au/resources/mindfulness-for-grief/
Keep well Phill, and reach out if you need to.
January 19, 2025 at 5:46 pm #36152phillParticipantAlmost 4 months now, Christmas was hard, my birthday was hard, Sundays are hard
I miss my Julie more every single day xxxOctober 27, 2024 at 6:58 pm #34516VM-Serenity66Participant@mike and @phill,
I’m so glad that you have been able to connect and to share your experiences. This a strength of our online community, that people can share their experiences, be heard and support each other. When you feel you need or want to, you are welcome to call our helpline for a compassionate, anonymous conversation with a volunteer. You need not fear burdening us, and we may be able to clear a safe space where, for a moment, someone can just sit with you. Take care, both of you.October 25, 2024 at 10:01 pm #34513mikeParticipantHi Phill,
I was surprised and very moved by you reaching out at to me. This is a time when it can be difficult to reach out
because the pain is all-consuming and in my case, I fear burdening others. It’s probably an irrational fear.
Nicole loved her coffee and tea, our two cats (one is currently nestled on my lap), holiday trips and in the years prior to her brain tumour operation in 2005: we both played and enjoyed a ridiculous number of scrabble games. She was particularly
fond of animals. The cats will remain a special link to her like whales can allow you to connect to Julie.
I wish you the very best. Stay strong and I’ll try and do the same.October 25, 2024 at 9:26 pm #34512phillParticipantHi Mike I think we both have a long road ahead I am sure your Nicole along with my Julie will help to guide us just keep doing what she would want for us to do
I made a memorial plaque and put it at a lookout we always went to look for whales, it great to just go and have coffee and talk to her
I hope by writing this it helps in some tiny wayOctober 25, 2024 at 8:15 pm #34511mikeParticipantI feel for what Phill must be going through as I’ve also lost my beloved wife Nicole recently to a cancer related illness. It was sudden and shocking. Late in the evening I gave her a kiss at the Emergency Department
and told her I would see her in the morning. Early that morning, a doctor called and gave me terrible news – the infection was far worse than anyone expected. By the time I made it back to see her, she was already in a coma. She died 2 days after that. I take some comfort in the fact she didn’t suffer much in her final moments. She was well looked after by the palliative care team. Nicole never lost her fighting spirit and her sweet smile when faced with relentless illnesses linked to her bone marrow cancer. She also had to adjust to the loss of her independence following the operation to another cancer in her left shoulder bone, about 3 years ago. It was very hard, yet she handled it extremely well considering.
I miss her so much! It’s hard to envision a time in the future when life will feel colourful and vibrant again. I have to remind myself that Nicole would wish me to heal and find a zest for life – it requires patience and I guess I’ll find my own tools to cope through the grieving process.October 21, 2024 at 10:19 am #34424VM-herewithyouParticipantHi Phill,
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your wife, Julie. It’s clear from your words how deeply you loved and cherished her. Losing someone who was not only your wife but also your best friend leaves a void that can feel impossible to fill, and it’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed with sadness right now.
It sounds like you and Julie had meaningful conversations about how you would move forward, and that speaks to the deep connection and love you shared. While knowing what she wanted for you might provide some comfort, it doesn’t take away the pain of her absence. Grief is complex, and it’s okay to feel sad, even if you also feel her presence with you in your heart.
You’re already showing incredible strength by honouring her wishes and trying to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Remember that grief isn’t something you need to rush through or “get over”—it’s a process, and it’s okay to take it one day, or even one moment, at a time.
If there’s anything you’d like to talk through or if you just need someone to listen, we are here for you. Please be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey. Julie’s love will always be a part of you, and you don’t have to go through this alone.
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