Lost my wife

[phill]

My name is phill
I lost my wife 2 weeks ago to cancer.
Julie was my best friend and I miss her so much, I am trying to do the best for myself as we discussed what she wanted me to do

I am just sad for my loss but I know she is still with me in my heart

Topic

[VM-Cody24]

Hi @phill,
Thank you for continuing to stay connected via the online forum.
I imagine that yearning to have Julie with you is very difficult to sit with at times.
It takes a lot of courage to express how you are feeling, so we are grateful that you are continuing to share that with us.
I’m wondering if you have found some helpful ways to get you through those hard times.
Please know that the Griefline community is here to support you.
Reach out to speak with one of the volunteers via the Helpline on 1300 845 745.

[phill]

7 months Easter I miss my one

[phill]

6 months and i miss her so much

[VMPatch]

Hello @phil
Times like Xmas and birthdays are really tough. I am wondering how you managed to get through those times? Also please remember Griefline is there is if you want call us during a tough time on 1300 845 745.

[VM-Emszy]

Hi @phill,

Yes, the special/milestone days can be hard and they are the obvious ones, we know it. Birthdays, Christmas, Anniversaries, etc. They are the ones you know may activate your grief in some way. There are also the ordinary, mundane, run of the mill days that can be hard too. When we have lost that person our life was intricately intwined with even the simplest, most routine, days can be difficult – sometimes more difficult. So please remember you are not alone, call the helpline on 1300 845 745 whenever you need support. Take care Phil.

[VM-Serenity66]

Hi @phill,

Christmas and other special dates can certainly be difficult. Well done for getting through all that and reconnecting. If you would find it helpful to talk about how this is unfolding for you, or just to talk about your memories of Julie, please feel free to call the Helpline on 1300 845 745 to connect with a volunteer. Some people find writing down their memories and feelings in a journal to be comforting. I wonder if that is something that might be useful for you if it feels too difficult to talk.

This is an article about mindfulness practices that has a little about journaling at the end. https://griefline.org.au/resources/mindfulness-for-grief/

Keep well Phill, and reach out if you need to.

[phill]

Almost 4 months now, Christmas was hard, my birthday was hard, Sundays are hard
I miss my Julie more every single day xxx

[VM-Serenity66]

@mike and @phill,
I’m so glad that you have been able to connect and to share your experiences. This a strength of our online community, that people can share their experiences, be heard and support each other. When you feel you need or want to, you are welcome to call our helpline for a compassionate, anonymous conversation with a volunteer. You need not fear burdening us, and we may be able to clear a safe space where, for a moment, someone can just sit with you. Take care, both of you.

[mike]

Hi Phill,

I was surprised and very moved by you reaching out at to me. This is a time when it can be difficult to reach out
because the pain is all-consuming and in my case, I fear burdening others. It’s probably an irrational fear.
Nicole loved her coffee and tea, our two cats (one is currently nestled on my lap), holiday trips and in the years prior to her brain tumour operation in 2005: we both played and enjoyed a ridiculous number of scrabble games. She was particularly
fond of animals. The cats will remain a special link to her like whales can allow you to connect to Julie.
I wish you the very best. Stay strong and I’ll try and do the same.

[phill]

Hi Mike I think we both have a long road ahead I am sure your Nicole along with my Julie will help to guide us just keep doing what she would want for us to do
I made a memorial plaque and put it at a lookout we always went to look for whales, it great to just go and have coffee and talk to her
I hope by writing this it helps in some tiny way

[Author]

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