When a friend dies, their family left me

This may sound selfish. It’s not. It’s my experience.
A dear friend passed away years ago. I was very understanding allowing space and gently staying in contact via phone, a visit once or twice a year, birthday and Christmas acknowledgment and offering to catch up for dinners in which they never took me up on. I suspected they didn’t have the capacity mentally.
As time went on I realised that although I had held the space for them, they never considered that the death of a friend brings a complete disconnect. It leaves a hole that nothing can fill and they have each other which can bring warmth yet my chapter ended. They can share those memories yet I have only myself to cuddle and share them with. It’s an unusual experience, not one I expected. Sometimes the little people in the persons life are struggling too yet it’s not always seen or perhaps considered.
I would love them to connect with me but they didn’t and I was very close to their loved one. I knew so much about her life that I wonder if they knew some of the things I knew…. There’s a hole left. They embrace each other. I’m glad they do. I don’t think they understand that although it’s their family member others grieve too and connection really helps. I can’t force connection. I’ve accepted that it’s a choice and maybe I bring memories to them that they don’t want. I’ll never know