Wife died 11 days ago in ICU

Following a two week hospital stay last year my wife was diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune disease known to cause progressive interstitial lung disease. She recovered and came home and everything seemed to be ok for 9 months or so then a dry cough started. The cough and breathlessness got worse so I called an ambulance. My wife was put in a ward on oxygen and seemed stable and was put on immunosuppressants. A week passed and her oxygen requirement slowly increased. They moved her to ICU. She told me she was scared of dying without seeing our 11 year old son again. My wife was the carer of our son who has autism. The doctors had to intubate her and put her on sedatives to supply enough oxygen. I could no longer communicate with her properly. She was on the ventilator for more than a week but the lung condition did not improve. I was by her side for hours each day. Eventually one of the doctors drew me aside and said that she would not survive. She was no longer able to respond and labouring. After consultation with the ICU team the family decided together to turn off the ventilation, and after a short time she died that evening, aged only 52. We were all devastated and I was inconsolable. I felt like I had failed her even though there was nothing I could have done. I was exhausted and had to tell our son. It was so horrible. I miss her so much. She was my best friend and the nicest person you could ever meet. Always went out of her way to help others. Life is so unfair. I see her now in many things each day and it is so so hard. Got to take one day at a time and be kind to myself and others.