Mothers’ Day ?

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This topic has 12 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by Moon.

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May 4, 2022 at 4:00 pm #20570

Moon
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Hello grief community, I thought I’d start a new thread as I am certain I am not alone in dreading this day and would welcome hearing how others are feeling?
Personally, I am so over all the adds on the radio/tv I have to turn the volume down as I might just throw something at it, if I hear one more.
I’m a mother without a mother (she passed away when I was 12) but this will be my first as a mother without her child.
I won’t be getting a hand drawn card from my son this year. Yes, even at 19 he would draw me a 4 page card with a poem or song lyrics. I’ve kept every single one since even before pre-school. Neither will there be a long lazy lunch sitting on the deck playing cards and board games, as per tradition.
His twin sister and two elder brothers will probably call, they know it won’t be a day I will feel like celebrating as much as I am grateful to still be their mother.
Penny for your thoughts xxx
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May 11, 2022 at 7:28 pm #20655

Moon
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Hi Sunflower, all mother’s and daughters. Yeah I’m glad it’s over and I can venture to the supermarket again without every promo in my face.
Honestly too much, I buried him xmas eve, his b’day in march, then mother’s day, stop., pause.., rewind please.. can’t catch my breath yet…
My father was born on mother’s day, 8th May end of world war 11 also, wish he was here to comfort me, but he passed when my son (twins) were only 9 mths old.
Sunday was a quiet day for me, didn’t expect my other children to visit, they’re grieving in their own way, which I totally get. I mean how could we play a card game together without the poker face winner this year ? He got dealt the losing hand simply too soon ago yeah.
I had my first grief line telephone counselling yesterday, felt so good having someone listen to my story, without worrying how my words might affect them, do you know what I mean ? She asked me questions, replies I would not necessarily share, so tried to be open and honest, and I felt heard, which, I believe, at the end of the day that’s what we basically all need. I certainly want and need it. Hugs to all (fathers, sons, brothers too )

May 10, 2022 at 11:58 am #20633

VM-Sunflower22
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Dear Moon,

I am soo sorry to hear you had to experience your first Mother’s Day without your son. I can only imagine how empty and emotional you must have felt. It sounds like you tried to cry all your tears the day before so I do hope that you were coping okay on Mother’s Day. It is during the lead up to these so-called ‘special’ days that things can really be stirred up again, and it is perfectly normal to feel like it opens up the grieving wounds all over again. Not that it would be something that ever truly goes away.

I can understand how you are feeling. I feel a bit raw when its Fathers Day as I don’t associate with my father. It makes me feel like I want to fast forward past that day and I can’t stand hearing about it all over the media either. I truly understand how triggering it can be because it is one thing to carry the thoughts in your mind, but to be constantly reminded can be a bit much. Especially if you feel that you have progressed even just a tiny bit forward with the loss.

How are you coping now that Mother’s day is over? How was that day for you? I really hope you got to find the love and joy from your other children on that day and that your son gave you the type of sign you were looking for. That dream did sound impactful. It must’ve been soo special just to see his face and hear his voice again. I find it special that you connected with him through music. At least you can keep those memories alive when you listen to the songs that meant soo much to you together.

It seems there are a few others here on the forum that also found Mothers Day particularly difficult. I hope you find some comfort from other people’s posts too. Please let us know how you are going. We care about you.

May 9, 2022 at 6:56 pm #20632

Moon
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Hello mothers and daughters, how are you all today ? Music has always been my best friend, so hope some resonates with you.
It was a language I shared with my son when there were no words needed, and will remain so always.
Ok so I did wait on the back deck for a little sign, a butterfly or something, until the sun set and it just got too cold.
I’ve had uncanny visits before, owls especially so hoped for a hello, but went to bed early, exhausted by tears.
Like most we dream of our lost loved one, I do each night, but in the early hours this morning I had such a surreal moment.
In my dream I was standing outside the icu ward, full of doctors, when my son motions me to come in and lie beside him.
I kiss his eyelids and he still feels warm. The machines are silent, but he turns his head and smiles at me and says,
can I please have another swim in the pool, I love you mummy, can I ?. I say yeah sure, but why are your eyes such a lighter colour suddenly now?
He just smiled and said, because I feel lighter ! I’m going to try to re-dream this xxx

May 8, 2022 at 5:44 pm #20599

Moon
Participant

Jimmy kept me company today xx

May 7, 2022 at 10:55 pm #20596

Moon
Participant

My son and I followed these central coast buskers since their beginning, now their famous ! love this track xx

May 7, 2022 at 10:37 pm #20595

Moon
Participant

I shed every tear my body could yesterday, so tomorrow will be ok, I hope xxx

May 7, 2022 at 9:41 pm #20593

Moon
Participant

https://allpoetry.com/Nature-the-gentlest-mother-is

May 7, 2022 at 8:40 pm #20591

beautifulboy
Participant

Dear Moon,
So sorry for your loss, there is no love like a mothers love for her child and to lose a child is the greatest most unbearable pain.
I too am a bereaved Mother. I lost my Beautiful first born Son this year. This to will my first mothers day without him.
I think we just need to let the tears flow and feel whatever we need to as there is no easy road when it comes to losing a child.
Sending all Bereaved Mothers Love strength & Comfort on Mothers Day XX

May 7, 2022 at 8:39 pm #20590

amber
Participant

Hi Moon,

Yes I dread this day too. I’m not a mum, but I lost my mum a couple or years ago. I know there isn’t much that will make you feel better during this time but I hope the sun will shine extra bright for you.

May 7, 2022 at 7:55 pm #20589

Moon
Participant

My son sent me this clip in his last days xxx
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