Upcoming loss

[lavenderkey]

He is near that age – I have been told anticipatory grief. Waiting and waiting for some time. I’m new to forum.

I loss my mother some years ago and it was strange time. I am estranged from father and really is was BAD guy but still father.

I had seen a show on tv about inheritance and I am concerned about this, contact with family, lawyers, nothing- it’s all in future.

I know he has not died yet but really I’m looking regardless at cemetery records awaiting it. He is unhealthy man and really he is really outliving what I expected he would get to. I check these records when I think I can handle it.

I was close initially to my mother but not father. There was turmoil in family. Bad father issues. I mean BAD.

I’m not sure of my reaction and someone said to reach out to grief line.

I know that he has not died, so sorry if I’m way off base but it’s shortly.

He is just bad person and really I may have ANY reaction.

Topic

[lavenderkey]

Thanks. I cannot get through. I have been calling but no luck getting through.

[VM_Lavender]

Hi @lavenderkey,

That is so true waiting for the inevitable. I feel like sometimes the waiting can be worse because you have no idea when or where it will take place. Whereas, once it has you can start to process the person’s passing away. It sounds like your Mum’s passing was a sudden shock, whereas with your Father it’s that waiting game. It can take a big toll on you so if you ever feel like you need a chat please keep reaching out for support on the forums or our helpline on 1300 845 745.

Take care.

[lavenderkey]

Yes – thanks for that. I have recently checked and he has not died – it’s more of he has not been laid to rest but I know one day I will look and it will be that he has. I had zero warning on my mother – this is like waiting for the inevitable.

[VM-flo]

Dear lavenderkey,

Thank you for reaching out. This is a safe space where you can connect with others who understand.

What you’re describing can be a form of anticipatory grief, and it sounds like there are many complex and conflicting feelings tied into your relationship and the situation with your father.

Whatever you’re feeling is valid. Experiences like this can bring up a mix of emotions, especially when relationships have been difficult.

If it feels right for you, you can contact our helpline: 1300 845 745, 9am to 8pm AEDT.

You don’t have to hold this on your own, we are here to listen.

[Author]

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