Parenting alone

[dlnorth]

My husband died 3 weeks ago and it was sudden and devastating.

I am up and down with all the horrible emotions but 1 thing making me anxious is parenting without him. I found our daughter is talking to someone unknown online and she is so young. And normally we would tackle the problem as a team. Now I am all alone.

Topic

[VM-Rose123]

Hi dlnorth,
I’m so sorry to hear of the recent and sudden death of your husband. I can only imagine the overwhelming mix of emotions and exhaustion you must be experiencing, and all while parenting, supporting your daughter’s grief, and trying to keep the day-to-day elements of life going for everyone. That sudden sense of feeling all alone on your parenting journey sounds incredibly hard, and it’s so understandable that you are feeling anxious about it. I just wanted to also say good on you for reaching out to Griefline and seeking support. It takes great strength to do that. I can absolutely understand your concern for your daughter. She is obviously processing her own grief at this time and I can imagine that must be very hard to witness as a mother and to find ways to support her. It must have been really worrying to discover that she’s communicating with an unknown person online, particularly while she’s in this vulnerable state. I’m so sorry that this has understandably added to your anxiety levels.
Here is a link to some information about the experience of grief for children and adolescents – https://griefline.org.au/resources/grief-and-loss-for-children/. Also, I thought I might point you in the direction of the National Centre for Childhood Grief. They provide free and unlimited counselling for bereaved children and young people aged 3 – 18 years. Counselling sessions are one on one, facilitated in person at the centre/online/via phone and support groups.
• Phone: 1300 654 556
• Website: https://childhoodgrief.org.au/
• Hours: 9am – 5pm Monday to Friday
Kids Helpline is also available for counselling and advice for young people between the ages of 5 to 25. With helpful tools on their website as well. Phone: 1800 551 800, https://www.kidshelpline.com.au.
In addition, given, that you mentioned your sense of feeling all alone right now, I just wondered whether the ‘circle of support’ exercise may be helpful for you as well – it’s outlined at 3.4 of the following link https://griefline.org.au/resources/grief-recovery-part-two/. Through doing this, you may be able to identify those people that you could call upon for support when you need it.
Please remember you can always call Griefline if you would like to chat to someone. 1300 845 745, 9am to 8pm (AEST/AEDT).
Take care.

[VM-Rose]

Dear dlnorth,

I’m so sorry to hear that your husband died suddenly 3 weeks ago. It must have been a real shock and no wonder you have been left devastated, My heart goes out to you. I can hear you are experiencing deep intense emotions grieving the loss of you husband, whilst also experiencing anxiety having to make decisions and navigate parenting alone. Its completely understandable that you have all these thoughts and feelings, parenting is hard enough anyway.It sounds like your husband was your confidant and you worked as a team raising your young daughter together.
Remember to be gentle with yourself and try and take one step at a time, you are dealing with a lot right now and doing the best you can whilst going through the most difficult time.

I have provided a link to the grief line website resource, which has information and offers gentle, practical ways to support yourself through grief and loss

When a loved one dies: a guide to coping with grief and loss

You said you feel alone, but please know we are here for you, if want to talk to someone our helpline Griefline is available 9am-8pm AEST 1300 845 745.

Thank you for reaching out dlnorth

[Author]

Replies