Lost struggling and grieving still

[tidd]

Lost one baby 08 21 2021

Another 06 15 2023

Is it wrong and selfish to grieve?? Shouldn’t I be happy that they’re gone and possibly not hurting? That they don’t have to deal with the world, depression, financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, emotionally, struggling??

Missing and grieving feels narcissistic and selfish. It feels all about me instead of them.

Topic

[vmpercy]

Dear @tidd,

I’m really moved by your openness to share such raw emotions with us here. It’s a testament to your strength, even in the face of immense loss. Your words resonated deeply with me. It’s important to remember that your feelings are yours and they are valid. It’s not selfish or narcissistic to grieve. It’s a natural reaction to loss and it reflects your love and attachment to your little ones.

Here, we want to encourage you to allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel. The pressure to be “okay” or “move on” quickly can be intense, but remember, it’s okay not to be okay. Some people find comfort in memorialising their lost loved ones in their own way. Is there something you might want to do to honour your babies?

In your darkest hours, know that you are not alone. This community is here to walk beside you, to listen, and to share in your journey of grief. We’ve all been touched by loss in some way, and although each person’s experience is unique, we can find solace in shared understanding and connection.

[VMKat]

Dear @tidd

I’m sorry to hear about the loss… They meant the world to you. Grieving is a natural response to the profound loss of loved ones and a powerful, universal human reaction to such severe separation. We can experience a rollercoaster of overwhelming emotions at these times. Your feelings are normal as your attachment system suffered a terrific blow, and you’re striving to understand what is happening. Experiencing emerging emotions, as you do, is important to process them and avoid poor physical and mental health. It seems you are aware of these feelings and are dipping into your strength by reaching out and sharing your experience with us, which can be very challenging.

I wonder if continuing the bonds with them would be helpful? Perhaps “telling them” how you feel, through photos, planting a tree, or anything meaningful. It can also be helpful to be kind to yourself and attend to yourself like you would to your best friend.

I hope you have someone you can talk to for support. You can also call our helpline between 8am and 8pm Mon-Fri 1300 845 745 or book a call https://calendly.com/griefline_request_a_callback/30min?month=2023-06 (7 days). We’re here to support you. Having a chat can be very helpful.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by VMKat.
• This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by VMKat.

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