Lost sibling and close friend within such a short period

[xereus]

I have recently lost my sister to an overdose and a week later a really close friend had overdosed as well, I am currently the centre of blame for my family with them telling me I didn’t do enough to help my sister and it is making me feel responsible for her passing and its not making the other passing i had experienced any easier, I am currently using really unhealthy coping mechenisims to get through this and it just hurts so much on a daily basis i feel like i can’t function or seeking validation from others just to stay numb to everything around \.

Topic

[vm-oscar-at]

Losing a sister and a close friend in such as short space of time is really difficult and as the other responders have mentioned, it takes courageous to reach out to others and acknowledge the challenge of facing this grief. From your message, you have shown awareness and understanding of unhelpful coping actions and behaviours, and while it may take some others longer to notice this, it’s something to be proud and is as a strength to recognise this and how it’s affecting you. I think it also means that there’s some desire or motivation to find other ways to cope, and reaching out services and other forms of support is a step towards this.

I hope you’ve been able to get in touch with some of the supports mentioned in the first response, or even having a chat to your GP is a great first step too. And if you haven’t had a chance yet, I hope you’re able to in time. Griefline volunteers are here for chat as well if you need on the Helpline number 1300 845 745, and the convenience of an anonymous call might seem easier in moments of grief and pain as well.

[VM-Summer24]

I just want to add how much my heart goes out to you, Xereus, and reiterate daffodil duck in saying you are not alone, everything you’re feeling is valid, and I’m so glad you have reached out. No one should go through what you are alone – and support is available.

With everything you’re experiencing, I can only begin to imagine your suffering right now, and the layers of pain would be huge to bear. It takes great courage to feel those feelings, and to seek help. These are both such important steps to help you navigate and gradually grow around your grief, finding a way go (and grow) forward.

As daffodil duck said, Griefline is here for you, in the forum and on the phone. The other resources are great too, and you might also like to explore http://standbysupport.com.au/ which offers support specifically for people bereaved by suicide.

Thanks again for coming to the forum, Xereus. Please do keep in touch.

[VM_daffodilduck]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience with us. This is a courageous step, and opening up about what is happening can be confronting and scary, but I’m glad you felt the need to reach out.

Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing two people who are very close to us a week apart is not something that is easy to carry. The added blame that the family is expressing is understandably making things feel heavier when all we need is support. I do want you to know that you are not alone in your grief. Experiencing similarities, more related to drugs and suicide, your feelings of grief are totally valid. I want to express that you have choices, you’re not alone, and we can provide support.
The pain is going to be there. After coming out of my negative coping patterns, I decided to sit in my grief, and try so hard not to blame myself for not calling, or rocking up at their house to see how they are. I felt I could have done so much more to help them, and it took me some time to get over it, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love him.
I had to reach out and ask for help, like you are doing now, that’s why reading your message is such a privilege. I felt isolated and alone, but I used resources just like you are doing now. It’s so courageous to step up and ask.
I want to leave some resources below, please use them, there is no shame, judgement, or guilt when using services that are there to help us.
Keep using this message board to reach out, call Griefline, or book a call back from our services online. We are here, and we want to sit with you in your grief and offer support.

Griefline
1300 845 745

Home

Lifeline
13 11 14
http://www.lifeline.org.au

Suicide call back service
1300 659 467
http://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Beyond Blue
1300 224 636
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Drug and Alcohol Counselling
https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/
(refer to website, each state has a different number)

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