Lost my dad after 10 year cancer battle

[lilyt]

I lost my dad almost 6 months ago, after his 10-year battle with cancer. I’m 24, and no one around me has dealt with grief in the same capacity, so no one really understands all the loss I’m feeling. I’m an only child so it’s just me and my mum now, and I feel like a part of me is missing.
I was so close to my dad, he was the most incredible, selfless and joyous man I’ve ever met.
For most of my cognisant life, I’d been expecting my dad to die, but as he kept beating it, I guess I had this hope that it would never truly get him. When the cancer came back and had spread everywhere, a part of me knew it was the last time, and yet I still felt so underprepared for his death, and for the changes in his personality as he realised he was dying. I’m so lost for how to move forward, so I’ve just been burying myself in work to distract myself from thinking about it.

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[VM_Lavender]

Hi @lilyt, I am so sorry that you are having to go through the grief of losing your Dad after such a long 10-year battle with cancer. It is such a devastating loss losing a beloved parent and such a painful experience to go through at only 24 years of age. I imagine it would be quite isolating to go through this as it would be hard to come by many friends or any that are in their early twenties who have lost a parent. I also don’t know if we can ever feel prepared for losing a loved one even though you had this sense this was his last time, so it makes a lot of sense that you felt so underprepared for his passing. I hope you are being gentle with yourself because I wonder if it would be easy to have thoughts that “I should be doing better” because you had been living with his battle of cancer for some time. It can feel so disorientating when we do not know where to start with how to cope with our grief or when it feels like it is not easing. Here is an article that might be a nice gentle read for you to help with the feeling of stuckness in trying to move forward https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/

We want you to know that we are here and listening and you are courageous in sharing your experience lilyt, and if you ever feel comfortable to you can call for chat on 1300 845 745.

[VMToby]

Dear Lilyt,

I feel so sad reading about the loss of your beloved Dad for one so young and after a long battle with Cancer.
It must be so very difficult for you being an only child also.
Your Dad sounded like a wonderful Dad and even if one expects someone to die e.g. of cancer, we always hold out the hope that they will beat it until this is not the reality.
I do not think anyone can prepare for the loss of a special parent and it is afterwards as the reality sets in that we feel and know that they are gone.
A loss as big as what you are experiencing take time to adjust too and work can help as it distracts us from always thinking about the huge gap left in our life.

Please know that Griefline is here if you would like to talk to someone seven days a week from 9am to 8pm Victorian time on 1300 845745.
If you are not up to talking, we have a website griefline.org.au where there is lots of information about grief and loss.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself
.

[VMToby]

Dear Lilyt,

I feel so sad reading about the loss of your beloved Dad for one so young and after a long battle with Cancer.
It must be so very difficult for you being an only child also.
Your Dad sounded like a wonderful Dad and even if one expects someone to die e.g. of cancer, we always hold out the hope that they will beat it until this is not the reality.
I do not think anyone can prepare for the loss of a special parent and it is afterwards as the reality sets in that we feel and know that they are gone.
A loss as big as what you are experiencing take time to adjust too and work can help as it distracts us from always thinking about the huge gap left in our life.

Please know that Griefline is here if you would like to talk to someone seven days a week from 9am to 8pm Victorian time on 1300 845745.
If you are not up to talking, we have a website griefline.org.au where there is lots of information about grief and loss.
Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself
.

[Author]

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