Loss of my mum

[annmarie]

Hi I’m relatively new to this. I lost my mum 7 weeks ago, she was in a nursing home and suffered from vascular dementia. Even though she was sick her death wasn’t excpected so suddenly. I’m struggling. I also lost my dad in September last year and my two elderly cats (my children) just before that. I have no siblings and am alone. I miss my mum incredibly and am struggling with my anxiety and depression. The one cat I have left which is mums is not well at the moment also so I’m panicking as well.

The grief of all my losses is unimaginable and I feel like no one understands but the loss of my mum has totally broken me. I don’t know how to move forward. Any advice would be great. Thank you.

Topic

[VM-pixie23]

Dear @alligirl
Thank you for sharing your story and wiling to offer some advice to others who have shared theirs. I think it’s incredibly brave of you to be open about your loss and I want to say how sorry I am for the losses and battles you have experienced. Given what you have been through I can understand the emotional toll it must take on you and I can see how each day would be hard.

I think it’s important to remember that you have been through so much and it sounds like you are doing all you can to get through each day. You mentioned some valuable advice and I think that the importance of taking things one day at a time and being gentle with yourself cannot be overstated.

We hear you and we are here to listen and offer support whenever you want to reach out either by the forums or through our helpline at 1300 845 745 between 8am and 8pm.
Additionally, the griefline website has many resources that can offer support and guidance:
Grief and loss: How to cope with loneliness and isolation

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @annmarie and @allgirl,

I want to start by acknowledging the tremendous losses both of you have experienced. It’s clear that these events have left you feeling lost, alone, and struggling to navigate your grief. Please know that your feelings are valid, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed when faced with such big losses one after the other.

Grief has a way of making us question our ability to move forward, especially when we’re still grappling with the pain of our losses. It’s worth remembering that healing is not linear; it takes time, changes direction, and each person’s journey through grief is unique. Be gentle with yourselves and allow space for your emotions to unfold without judgment.

Allgirl touched on an important aspect of self-care by mentioning the need for kindness towards oneself during difficult times. Looking after the basics, like eating and sleeping, and treating yourself with compassion, patience, and understanding is so important as you navigate your losses.
Finding small moments of joy, as Allgirl suggested, can also serve as a stepping stone in the healing process. Whether it’s a beautiful sunset, a warm cup of tea, or a hobby that brings you peace, these little pockets of happiness can provide comfort and reconnect you to life’s beauty.

Seeking support is another essential aspect of navigating grief. While you may not have the support of immediate family, consider reaching out to friends, support groups, or professional counsellors who can offer empathy, understanding, and guidance. Remember, there are people who genuinely care and want to help you through this difficult time. Griefline’s compassionate volunteers are here for you on the Helpline, if you feel up to talking about your experience with someone in a space with no judgement.
As you move forward, remember that healing does not mean forgetting your loved ones or the pain you’ve experienced. Instead, it’s about weaving your losses into your life and finding a way to carry your loved ones memories with you as you take them forward.

Thank you Annmarie and Allgirl, for the courage to share your stories. You are not alone in your journey, and there is support available to help you heal and find hope.

[alligirl]

Hi, i’m so sorry to hear about your losses. I think I can relate to that as I have lost everyone too. I lost my mum then my dog five weeks later. Then a legal battle and sued about my mum‘s estate because my siblings were greedy so I also lost them and my nieces and nephews in the process. No one really talks about people who are alone and have no one in their life. Such a huge emphasis is put on family yet. There’s never any mention of those of us who are in the world alone. Every day is hard and I am completely broken as a person. My only advice to you is to treat yourself with kindness and listen to what you need and find small pieces of joy every day.

[VM-Lottie24]

So sorry to hear you have lost your Mum, Annmarie. You’re dealing with so much loss and sadness – it’s complelety understandable that you feel broken and not able to see a way forward. Perhaps now isn’t the time to be making any big plans, but focus on small actions which support your own sense of safety and wellbeing. Having a daily routine which incorporates self-care and something that connects you to a feeling of peace, can bring a sense of stablity when everything feels a bit out of your control. This can be as simple as a walk in the park or having a warm bath in the evening to help you wind down and calm your thoughts. If you have a sympatheic GP, they may be a good resource for accessing support for you locally – and may be able to link you up with counselling.
You’re doing so well and are brave to reach out. Perhaps reading some of the resources on the Griefline website may help you decide what is right for you at this time. https://griefline.org.au/resources/

[VM-bluesky]

I’m so sorry to hear of your losses Annmarie. At major life transition times like this, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed and lost. Its very wise that you have reached out for support via this forum, and I urge you to also ring Griefline on 1300 845 745 between 8am and 8pm EST to chat with one of our volunteers who can help support you on your grief journey and refer you to other supports. Its important that you don’t go through this alone.

[Author]

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