Loss of my Dad

[hjb142]

My Dad passed away a month ago on the 24th. I’m not coping and I don’t know what to do. He was 53. I’m only 23. I know it’s not usually expected but he had been getting better. He was on his medications for years at this point. I spent the first two years of his illness mourning and was finally at a point I thought he’d live, nearly 5 years later. And now he is no longer with us. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t hug him tight enough. I didn’t appreciate what I had enough. We just woke up, I went about my day and got the news that afternoon. Everything’s been somewhat blurry since. I had so much support, but I don’t want that. I mean I do, it’s nice but.. I’d rather just have my dad back. The funeral was beautiful. But I’d rather have my dad back. Everything’s been going downhill since. I feel like I should have loved him more. I was going to call him the day prior but got too tired to. I keep dreaming but since that day, I can’t even see him in my dreams. It’s like this big hole. There’s no closure and no last conversation. No goodbye hug. Nothing. He’s just gone.

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[VM-didimoll]

So very sorry for your loss, hjb142. The death of a parent can be so hard under any circumstance, and more so when it’s unexpected. It must’ve been incredibly difficult for you over the last few years to see what your dad was going through. When confronted with a loss of this magnitude we are bound to undergo a whole array of challenging emotions as you are. It’s still early days and hard as it is, it would be helpful to give yourself the space to feel those emotions and process the loss. By posting here you have taken a significant step towards this – well done for that.

I’m glad you feel well supported but in case you want to have a chat with one of our compassionate telephone counsellors, do give us a call on 1300 845 745 (8 am to 8 pm – AEST). We all have different ways of coping and sharing is an important one. I’d therefore encourage you to keep engaging with the forum members, as that connection with people who’ve been through similar experiences can be comforting. Meanwhile, please don’t ignore to take care of yourself in this difficult time – some practical tips here https://griefline.org.au/resources/east-self-care-guide/

[VM-stel18]

Hello hjb142. I’ve just read your post and noticed that was 6 days ago. I’m wondering how you are. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. You are young and I wish you had more time with him. I imagine you are very much on the rollercoaster of grief and the various emotions grief can involve. There are no right or wrong ways to feel. Unfortunately guilt and regret, thinking you “should have done more” are common reactions, but you weren’t to know when your dad would die and when to call him. You’ll be able to acknowledge that as you process your grief more. It’s good that you connected with the Griefline community online. Please post again if that helps you and please know that you can call Griefline to speak to one of the volunteers on 1300845745. There’s also the website https:/griefline.org.au which has a number of articles and handouts you can read that might help you navigate this difficult time. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, if you are back online to see this, that I am thinking of you. Take care and keep talking with your loved ones and with the Griefline community.

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