Losing mum a month ago

[clemson2026]

I lost my mum on the 13th of December and have been struggling. I thought after the funeral I would be fine. My moods change so quickly fine one minute the next I’m not. I miss her very much found my letters from mum today and I bursted into twats reading them. I watched my mum decline in hospital it was so hard to see that. Have had no energy and being feeling low, depressed and empty had many mental health visits leading up to funeral. Ive had to take extra medication just for me to cope during this period. I wish I could forget and move on but not that simple so hard just looking at photos, videos and letters. I’m at the stage where I don’t know what to do or what do with myself. I just get numb periods. Does this get any easier. I’m surprised I’m getting up and still keep taking care of myself despite being in pain or not wanting to do much.

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[VM-angel33]

Hi @clemson2026

Thank you for reaching out on our forums. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum.
It sounds like the decline in her health was understandably so hard, and I can’t imagine how tough it would be for you.
She sounded like a special person in your life.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re struggling, and I am really proud of you for getting through this tough period.
Please know you don’t have to do this alone.
We have online helpline calls available 8am-8pm at 1300 845 745, as well as online resources and support groups.
Sending you lots of love and support, and know that Griefline is here to listen and walk alongside you x.

[VM- VioletH]

hi @clemson2026,

I’m so deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Losing someone so central to your life is an enormous shock to the whole system, and everything you’ve described the mood swings, the exhaustion, the numbness, the sudden waves of emotion are all very real and very human responses to grief. Sometimes that period after the funeral is a time that can be really hard, often people put pressure on themselves to ” get back to normal” but there’s no timeline for grieving or a right way to do it.
Finding your mum’s letters and being overcome with emotion is such a natural response. Those moments can come out of nowhere and touch something very tender inside you. They don’t just remind you of your mum, they remind you of the bond you shared, the love between you, and all the parts of her that still live in your heart. Your tears aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re a reflection of how deeply she mattered to you.
Sitting by your mum’s side and watching her decline in hospital is an experience that leaves a deep imprint. It’s incredibly hard to witness someone you love going through that, and it takes time for your mind and body to make sense of it. Feeling low, empty, exhausted, or unable to find energy is a very human response to both grief and the shock of what you’ve been through. The numb periods you’re describing are also common. Many people move between pain, numbness, sadness, and moments of functioning. It’s not a sign that you’re doing anything wrong; it’s simply your mind trying to protect you while you navigate something overwhelming.

You mentioned needing extra medication to cope, and that shows how much you’ve been carrying, but also the resilience you have accessed – listening to yourself and understanding what support you need right now. And even though it may not feel like it, the fact that you’re still getting up, still taking care of yourself in small ways, shows a quiet strength. Grief does change gradually; it doesn’t really disappear but over time it becomes less intense and a little easier to hold. It’s like our healing self slowly grows around the grief we begin to find new ways of carrying it.
For now, it’s completely okay to take things moment by moment and to lean on support whenever you need it.
Reaching out here is the first step, and know that you don’t have to go through this alone – the Griefline community is here to support you.
If you feel like you want to talk some things through, you can call our helpline and chat to one of our volunteers Helpline 1300 845 745 (8am–8pm AEDT, 7 days).
I have also added a link below to some resources on the Griefline website you may find helpful when you’re ready:
Different Types Of Grief
When a Loved One Dies Coping with Grief and Loss

[VM-Blizzy]

Dear Clemson,

What a very hard period in your life. Going through a funeral and the period after can affect you in ways you wouldn’t predict. Whatever your reaction, know that everyone is unique and your experience is normal. Grief can be overwhelming and feelings on numbness and emptiness that take over your body are very common, as well as uncontrollable tears that can come when you least foresee.

Sometimes when we are going through acute grief we need extra supports like in the ways the medications might be helping you during this tough time. Know that it is okay and healthy to reach out for extra supports when you need them, so that you are better able to manage tough times.

It is fantastic that you are still able to get up and look after yourself. If you try to keep doing that it may get easier to start doing other things that you used to love.

In time talking might help you. Griefline is here for you. We are open from 8am to 8pm (AEDT) on 1300 845 745. When you feel up to it, you might like to give us a call and talk. You asked if it gets any easier? In time people in situations similar to you learn to manage grief alongside the rest of their life, while never forgetting and keeping the good memories of their loved one alive.

Take Care and keep reaching out.

[VM_Tully13]

Dear Clemson,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. It sounds like you had a special relationship with her, between her writing you letters and you being by her side in hospital. I can’t begin to imagine how difficult it must be starting to navigate life without her.

As difficult as this period is, it is normal to be feeling this way, especially so soon after losing your mum. I want to acknowledge how well you are doing to be still managing to get up and take care of yourself, reaching out for help from mental health professionals and taking your medication when needed. Its important to acknowledge these little wins at this stage.

You asked if it gets any easier and I want you to know that it does with time, but also grief is full of ups and downs. I have personally found this article helpful to understand why it can be so challenging and how that is normal. https://griefline.org.au/resources/common-questions-from-the-bereaved/
Some people in this stage of grief find it helpful to connect with their loved one by writing them letters, creating albums of photos or visiting places that were important to them. It can also help to talk it through with friends or family, or you can call Griefline’s helpline on 1300 845 745 between 8am and 8pm AEDT.
Please continue to keep in touch on this forum and look after yourself. We are here for you <3

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