Im up,I cannot sleep.

[abc01]

I am up. I can’t sleep. It is 2am in the morning.
I just miss him so badly. All I can think about is how much I miss him.
It will nearly be three months on Monday.
How can I have possibly have lived that long without him?!

Goodnight to those who can sleep.
ABC01

Topic

[vmrose33]

Dear @abc01

Yes it can be difficult to achieve calm and sleep amidst a tornado of sadness and anger and lonely feelings.

It sounds like you have been gathering a number of strategies and found some things that work for you. Thank you for sharing these here. I love the idea of a pillow animal and to include your cat in your daily ritual of saying goodnight. As well as journalling your emotions, sleep sounds and being careful of caffeine – I find these three things very helpful myself.

Take care
vmrose33

[abc01]

Dear VM-sweetpea,

If I am honest, my mental health professionals have provided me with medication to fall asleep and hopefully miss the cycle of time for nightmares, as my discovery of my cats death was beyond traumatic and I have diagnosed PTSD from it.
I find getting into bed and lying down to the act of sleeping the worst time of the night and the tornado is the strongest. Silence and darkness doesn’t help either.

I have found kissing a photo of my cat and saying goodnight to him,includes him in my day. It Engages my loyalty belief in my values and ethics of it being respectful to my cat. It helps keep me connected to him.

I also found these body hugging pillow animals by a japanese brand “Liv Heart nemu nemu” animals.The large size, I can sleep with my head pushed into them ,whilst hugging them to my chest. It brings me comfort to have my face hidden in softness and something soft,yet firm enough for my comfort to smoosh to my chest,with my arms wrapped around it.If my chest is warm,then I feel emotionally safe. I thought it was an expensive purchase for a bolster toy,now I honestly couldn’t do with out it.

With my bed now empty of my beloved boy, without something to fill the space, I feel so lonely.

I do alot of drinking decaf tea, journaling down any emotions that I need to get out of my mind and using a sleep sound machine.
Thank you for your suggestions.

ABC01

[VM-sweetpea]

Dear @ABC01

I want to start by thanking you for sharing with us and reaching out. I believe many of us on these forums can relate to the tornado of emotions you are feeling in regard to the loss of your pet. In the business of day-to-day life, it is often in the quietness of night when these emotions can become louder and overwhelming. Our pets take up such large spaces in our hearts and it takes time for it to feel less unsetting them not being a part of the day to day. As the day comes to a close and our brain starts processing the information it collected those gaps only become more apparent.

I wonder if you have developed any strategies within these past three months that have helped ease the overwhelming feelings that are affecting your sleep?

In times such as those simple self-care techniques such as making a cup of tea, practicing breathing exercises, mindfulness or even journaling your feelings can help to ease the tornado of feelings making them more manageable.

Please have a look at the EAST model of self-care and some information regarding sleep patterns. In time you will find what works for you. Thank you again and remember we are here for you.

Tips to Improve Your Sleep

A gentle guide to self-care after loss: The E.A.S.T. approach

[abc01]

Dear vmrose33,

I didn’t go to sleep until 3am last night.
I am cycling between sadness and anger right now.
Thoughts can be a tornado that don’t calm easily.

Thank-you for you response.
ABC01

[vmrose33]

Dear abc01

Thank you for reaching out and sharing with us how much you miss him and his presence in your life. It can be hard to sleep when we are overwhelmed with such thoughts and feelings.

How did you sleep last night? If you (or anyone reading this) are looking for information or tips on coping with insomnia there is a page for this in the ‘Resources’ section of this website.

Take care

[Author]

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