I lost my baby girl

[troymartin]

My Ophira “Little Kitty” was a beautiful little 12 year old moggy cat. She was my best friend in the whole world and was my little shadow around the house. My partner loved her too but there was an undeniable bond between her and me. She came when I called her, and she always looked for me in the house. We’ve had a friend living with us for the last couple of months and he had a dog. For context, we have 3 dogs and (had) two cats. So the addition of another dog did not make a huge impact on the already animal busy home. Several times we had left them all together in the house. We don’t have a doggy door, and our council has a 24 hour cat curfew so all animals stay inside when we go out. Two days ago, I came home from taking my partner to work and found Little Kitty dead in the lounge room. Our friends dog had killed her – confirmed by my partner briefly watching the petcam footage to make sure our dogs weren’t involved.
I have never experienced grief in this way before. Never really lost a person that close to me, or a pet for that matter. I got Little Kitty when I was 20 years old.
The pain that I am feeling is excruciating. I was lucky that I got into my psychologist, and my partner is an incredible support as he has experienced grief twice before. I obviously have a lot of guilt which I am working through, and I just wish I could cuddle and kiss her again, plus the gut wrenching longing to have her back with me, but what I am struggling with is the image of her little body on the ground when I think of her beautiful little face. I am scared that I will never stop seeing that image in my head and it will take away from the beautiful memory of her. I just miss my baby girl and want her back so bad. I’m not sure what I am hoping to achieve with this post but I know it can’t be worse than what I am feeling now

Topic

[VM-rose]

Hello @troymartin, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your beautiful little kitty Ophira sounded like the sweetest cat. I just want to acknowledge how brave it is of you to have shared your personal experience here on the Griefline forum. I also want to let you know that grief is a personal and unique experience for every individual and your feelings are completely natural. I also lost my rabbit at the end of 2023. As we all have our own personal experiences, I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. I am glad to hear that you are working through your feelings of guilt as this a heavy burden to carry. We’re here to listen and support you.

[VM-bluesky]

I’m so sorry to hear of your tragic loss – not only her passing but the traumatic manner which adds to your grief. Perhaps it may help to remember that her life was not defined by how she died – there are 12 wonderful years of images in your mind to focus on every time you think of her.

[vm-sage111]

I’m sorry to hear about your loss of Little Kitty. She sounds like a very special cat who was deeply loved by you and your partner. I can hear how much you miss her and how hard it is to cope with her sudden death. It’s good to know that you have some support around you during this very tough time, such as your psychologist and your partner. They can help you process your feelings and offer you comfort and guidance.

Please remember to be kind to yourself and understand that grief is not a linear process. It comes in waves, and some days may be better than others, while some moments may be more painful than others. This is perfectly normal and a part of the healing journey. It’s important not to judge yourself or your emotions. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling and accept those emotions as they are. Remember that you’re doing the best you can, and you’re not alone in this. As you mentioned, you have your partner who’s an incredible support for you during this difficult time.

Remember that Little Kitty will always be with you in your heart and in your memories. She will always be your best friend, your companion, your family. You will always love her, and she will always love you.

I hope this helps you a little bit, but I also understand that words are not enough to ease your pain. If you need more help or just someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to our helpline at 1300 845 745, 8 am – 8 pm, seven days a week; we are here for you.

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