Grieving the loss of my kitten

[jimjam]

At the start of the year, my partner and I decided to get our first baby – kitten – together. She very quickly became my everything. We were both working from home at the time and spent alot of time with her. We formed such a strong bond with her, especially me and her. She slept on my chest at night, she cuddled in my arms on the couch; I truly loved and love her more than anything in this world. Some months ago, she got really sick. We took her into the vet and it was believed she had FIP. Our hearts broke, mine shattered into a million pieces. We got her on medication as soon as we could, but she was already starting to deteroiate. A week after diagnosis, her body shut down and it was for the best decision to euthanize her.

It was only a few months ago so I would never expect myself to be over it, but I’m still having and struggling with every single emotion. I cry most days, I feel guilty and blame myself every other day. I just miss her so much. It feels so unfair she had to die, she was only a baby, it’s not fair. why me why her.

My partner and I have another kitty, but I can’t stop constantly worrying something will also be wrong or one day something will happen to her. i lose sleep, i struggle to eat. And I feel so guilty, because I love her so much but I also want my baby back. I don’t know what to do.

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