Feeling the death of my mother after 6 months

[phillipsm]

Is anyone feeling the loss of mother who died in june in this year. its hitting me hard now with my birthday yday

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[VM-winter]

I hear you @phillipsm! I lost my Mum a while ago now, so my grief isn’t as new or raw as yours is at the moment. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and special dates really hit hard. Losing a parent is like losing part of yourself and who you are. Just when you think you have learned how to cope a day comes along, like a birthday, and all the pain comes rushing back. Learning to live with grief is a journey but not a straight line. It’s different for every one of us. There are up and down days and we all find some times are harder. Self-care is really important on the down days, so please do take the time to do whatever feels soothing and helpful to you. There are some good self-care resources on the Griefline website https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/ that you might find useful.
If it helps, please know that eventually we all find ways to grow our lives around our grief and learn ways to make it manageable. Grief doesn’t just go away, but you will grow your ability to cope. This year at Christmas and my upcoming birthday I’m finding comfort in getting out some old treasures and looking at photos of happy times with my Mum and feeling gratitude that I had her in my life. I hope you find ways to remember your mother and get through the tough days that will make it easier for you.
For now please just look after yourself and take the time you need to grieve. Keep reaching out to the forum for connection and support or call Griefline on 1300 845 745 (8am–8pm AEST, 7 days) if you need to talk. We are here for you.

[VM- VioletH]

Hi @phillipsm,
The grieving process is so different for everyone, while we are in middle of the whirlwind of emotions it’s hard to believe things will ever be different.
Your grief is real and present and it’s okay take whatever time you need to listen to your feelings, even the parts that feel heavy or stuck. You don’t have to rush your feelings or “move on” before you feel ready.
Even though it might not feel possible right now, many people find that over time the intensity of grief shifts. Not because the loss stops mattering, but because your capacity to carry it grows, it’s like our healing self grows around the grief, and though it’s not gone, we begin to carry it in a different way.
For now, it’s enough to take things moment by moment. You’re allowed to feel exactly how you feel. And you deserve support, gentleness, and space as you navigate this.
Thankyou for sharing your story, and remember we are here to support you through this process, you don’t need to carry this loss alone.

[phillipsm]

Thanks very much Violet. The pain of the loss of my mother is so intense at the moment. I can’t imagine it ever feeling better but I hope it does.

[VM- VioletH]

Hi @phillipsm,
Though I’m not experiencing the loss of a parent, as you are, I know that special event days like birthdays and Christmas can be an emotionally tumultuous time after a bereavement.
Its’s only been 6 months since your mother passed, so it’s understandable that special days where you would usually connect and come together are feeling challenging. Sometimes, it can be helpful to complete a ritual or memorialising activity on these days. Some people view photos that help them recall positive memories,do an activity their loved one enjoyed or that they enjoyed together, write a letter to their loved one, or even something as simple as lighting a candle.
Well done on reaching out here, as you don’t have to go through this journey alone. You can always talk to one of our volunteers at the Griefline Helpline 1300 845 745
8am to 8pm: 7 days (AEDT). Sometimes, it really helps to talk things through.

I have included below some information links from the Griefline website resources hub that might also support you when you feel ready.
Men and Grief
Coping with Grief and Loss

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