Falling in love not long before she passed

[osprey]

Hello, my name is Pete and I’m 37 years old. My friend who became my partner passed away on the 18th of December 2025. I met her in March of 2025 in the forest an hour away from my place and she was looking to move to my area, which she did a month later and was house-sitting on the other side of town. She had told me she had some lung issues and breathing problems and it was hard to find a place that didn’t aggravate her lungs due to fragrance and smells and the current place was no good. My home is fragrance free and has been for years so despite us both wanting to live alone (I have lived alone for most of the last 11 years) we decided to give it a shot as it was only meant to be short term while she gets going again and I was happy to assist her.

It turned out to be lung cancer (very rare for someone her age) so I told her she can stay at my place for as long as she needs. Her condition deteriorated and the cancer moved into her body and spine for the last few months. We ended up falling in love (which both of us had sworn we would never do again – I was 7 years happily single!) a couple of months before she passed and even though it was only a short time, it has left me shattered. Even before things took a romantic turn, we were spending hours and hours together everyday and I would make sure to get her up every morning for a walk in the forest while she was still able to walk. We were living optimistically and making the most of our time together but she had been approved for Voluntary Assisted Dying as her condition was quite severe and advanced. Eventually the pain and lack of mobility became too much so on the night of the 18th she “dropped the body” as she always put it and I watched her go.

I’m pretty lost now, I have lived a very reclusive life out in the hills and to have been opened up to love and companionship only for it to end so quickly has me hurting. Some of the best memories of my life have been in these last 9 months with her. We would spend hours and hours out in nature barely talking and neither of us wanting to leave. Even when things deteriorated, we would still find flat walks where we could walk barefoot because putting shoes on was getting too hard and her lungs and body struggled with slopes. When we weren’t getting out for walks anymore, we would still dance slowly around the house and when she couldn’t get out of bed anymore, we were still always holding each other.

I will love her always and hope I can find a way to cope.

Topic

[VM-angel33]

Hi @osprey
Thank you for reaching out on our online forums.

I am truly so sorry for your loss. I can hear how much she meant to you in the 9 months you knew her, and I am sending you support and warmth.

We have some resources for coping if you are ever interested x

When a loved one dies: a guide to coping with grief and loss

A gentle guide to self-care after loss: The E.A.S.T. approach

Please know that you don’t have to deal with this alone. Griefline is here to walk alongside you through our helpline and support groups – if you are comfortable to join them.
Wishing you love and support.

[VM-Loki23]

Dear Pete

Thank you for entrusting us to witness your vulnerability as you grieve and process the recent loss of your friend turned partner who dropped their body on 18th December, 2025. Your words resonate with heartache, tenderness and fond memories of cherishing your limited time with her.

Grief can be a rollercoaster of emotions, so please give yourself the space to feel these emotions and process the loss. Your words reflect that nature was therapeutic for both you and your partner, and maybe nature is something you can tap into during this time of grieving.

Grief can be a lonely experience, so it helps to have someone to talk to. You are always welcome to call Griefline on 1300 845 745 when you are ready.

In the meantime, I would like to invite you to an article below that may be of some support.

Men and Grief

Be gentle with yourself.

[osprey]

Thank you VM-Fox25 for the kind words and sharing the VAD article.

I remember laying on the grass with her at the nearby headland when we were still able to get out for decent walks. After things had deteriorated quite a bit, she was often surprised that she still wanted to hang around and was enjoying life enough to keep going. We really pushed it as far and as long as we could and I’m grateful I was able to help give her that.

It is a strange time to fall in love, because feelings were still growing between us at the same time as things were ending so I think my body and mind are taking a while to make sense of that.

[VM-Fox25]

Dear Pete,

As VM-hesed7 said, thank you for sharing with us so openly and honestly. Your relationship with your partner sounds so full of love and life, even now as you write about her and the good memories you created together. It sounds like this has been life-changing journey together. I admire your strength and courage to be with her throughout it all, and your devotion to her says a lot about your character as well as the depth of your love. Given your closeness and love, it’s very normal that you feel the way that you do.

The resource VM-hesed7 shared is great, and you are most welcome to continue sharing on this forum or you can call Griefline at 1300 845 745 between 8am to 8pm. If you like, this article addresses voluntary assisted dying and may be helpful to you: https://griefline.org.au/resources/coping-with-grief-after-voluntary-assisted-dying-a-guide-for-family-and-friends/

If you’re comfortable sharing, is there a particular memory that you’re fond of?

[osprey]

Thank you for the kind words, they help a lot and thank you for sharing the article and phone support number as well.

I’m happy we were still able to create good memories despite the situation and she found enough enjoyment to keep going for so long.

[VM-hesed7]

Dear Pete,

I am really sorry to hear about the recent passing of your dear friend and partner. I can sense from what you described how much she meant to you, and how devastating it must be to face this sudden loss after you have so bravely opened your heart to love and companionship again.

Thank you for reaching out and sharing so vulnerably, it sounds like the memories in the 9 months have been so precious to you and you were really looking forward to this budding future with her. The both of you have been so strong to weather through her deteriorating health condition together, making the best of your time together with optimism and creating beautiful memories in the process.

It is completely normal for you to feel lost right now as you grieve this loss, especially as her death came so suddenly and has brought such a significant change to your life. Please know that you don’t have to go through this alone, this article speaks more about what you may experience as you navigate this painful period: https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/ and if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to call Griefline at 1300 845 745 anytime from 8am to 8pm, we are here for you.

[Author]

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