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Hi Leigh,
I just want to say my heart breaks for you on the loss of both of your parents, such a terrible thing to happen and even so much harder to cope with at this time of year.
Your care is evidenced by the fact that you took time off to care for your mum after her surgery, at the same time grieving the loss of dad.
Hindsight is a marvellous thing but can also cause us to feel guilty about things that we really could not have changed. As you mentioned you offered to take your mum to the doctor, but she didn’t want to go. Similarly, dad did not want to go to hospital, both situations out of your control.
I want to commend your courage in joining this forum and posting your story as it helps not only us but you to work through your grief. I lost my brother in September and the thoughts do come that maybe I could have done something to change the situation, or visited him more, but I do realise that we must live our lives the best we can without the benefit of hindsight. It does make us realise how precious life and loved ones are and we can take that knowledge forward with us.
Please be kind to yourself, and do stay in touch