Dear clemson2026,
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. That is such a terrible loss to experience, especially since the loss was so sudden. And especially at this time of year. As you are 20 years old, I could appreciate if you feel like she’s passed much too soon. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re feeling very overwhelmed at the moment. I can’t imagine what this is like for you, but I think it’s very positive that you’ve engaged with the Online Forums.
Losing a parent is of course a loss of an incredible magnitude. And please know that when coping with a loss of this scale, two weeks is a very short period of time. It’s actually quite common that within such a short timeframe, for some people the loss hasn’t really hit them yet. However, I can see that you are engaging with your feelings from what you’ve shared, and by posting on the Online Forums. I understand this is extremely difficult, but you are on the right track by acknowledging the feelings that you are experiencing right now.
Also, when coping with a loss such as this, It is very normal to struggle with sleep, motivation, agonizing emotional pain as you mentioned, and in numerous other ways. Please know that the feelings you have described are all very normal. I think you are doing well to do the best you can and I hope you have someone in your life who is supportive to you. I also think you’re showing a lot of strength and resilience to engage with the Online Forums, so that you can receive some support, and engage with other Forum members.
While I can appreciate this loss is extremely recent, I want you to know that within the grief and loss space, it is considered to be healthy to find ways to feel connected to the person that you’ve lost. The idea is that while the person has passed away physically, your relationship with them continues. Some people find ways to continue the bond through photographs, writing letters, listening to music that your loved one enjoyed, or cooking food you used to enjoy together for example. Basically, anything which helps you to feel connected to your mum may help you to continue the bond that you share. Although, I can appreciate that it may be too early within your grief journey to think about this right now.
Part of what I’m meaning here is that it’s not like the goal is to ‘Get Over’ this loss, and ‘Move On’ as such. These ideas aren’t considered to be very helpful within the Grief and Loss space. Rather, as your grief journey progresses, you will be able to accommodate and integrate this loss into your life story, and grow around the loss, while of course always remembering and feeling connected to your mother.
As I write this, I’m conscious that these ideas I’m sharing might be too much to consider right now. But I just want you to know that over time you will feel a lot better than you feel now, and your emotional patterns will return to what is normal for you.
You are very welcome to call Griefline’s Helpline on 1300 845 745 (8am – 8pm, Victorian (AEDT) time). Here, you can have a supportive conversation with one of our caring Volunteers. We also have a resource article within our ‘Grief and Loss Resource Hub’ which may be helpful. It relates to losing a loved one. This is the link https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/. Numerous other articles are also available for you to read.
Also, for urgent or emergency assistance, please call Lifeline (24 hours) on 13 11 14, or call 000, or go to a hospital emergency department if your life is in danger.
And please know you are more than welcome to continue engaging with the online forms. We are here for you now, and as your grief journey continues.
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This reply was modified 2 days, 20 hours ago by VM-The Old Oak Tree.
