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Sudden and unexpected loss of my husband

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Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › Sudden and unexpected loss of my husband

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  • November 26, 2025 at 2:28 pm #43156
    jotan80
    Participant

    Dear all,

    I am struggling with the sudden passing of my beloved husband, Aaron on the 1st of November 2025. He underwent a hip replacement surgery, was discharged the next day into his parents’ care while I was in Sydney for work. He became progressively tired as the day went on. He went to sleep that night, and never woke up. My mother-in-law made the very difficult call to inform me that Saturday morning and I was left bereft and in shock. I initially offered to cancel my work trip, but Aaron said that I was better off having carer’s leave the following week to help with his recovery. I feel incredible guilt for not being with him when he passed. I know that he was still surrounded by people who love him but it hurts my heart that I wasn’t there. Our little 15-month-old toy cavoodle, Leo, was sleeping with Aaron and woke his mum up at 4:30 a.m. Thinking that he needed to go toilet, Aaron’s parents let Leo out and went to check on Aaron, only to find that he was gone. It’s been such a difficult time for our family, and especially his two sons from a previous marriage. His oldest turns 18 in a few days and his youngest is only 14 and was at the house when it happened.

    The funeral was on the 17th of November and I’m finding that my emotions and grief have amplified since then. The house feels so empty and I’m just missing him so much.

    I feel so lost. 🙁

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  • November 28, 2025 at 1:20 pm #43185
    vm-berry
    Participant

    Hi Jotan80,

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss, it requires so much strength to reach out and to express your feelings surrounding your grief. These feelings of shock and sadness are completely normal.

    I loss my grandfather recently and also did not get the chance to say goodbye, I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for you – you truly just wanted to be there for your husband in his last moments. The loss you feel right now really shows how much you care about him and your five year marriage.

    Trying to reach out to your supports despite the emotions you are overwhelmed with right now requires a lot of effort, I commend you for that and for also reaching out to Griefline.

    We are here for you!

    November 27, 2025 at 10:59 am #43172
    jotan80
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind responses. I’m still in a state of shock. Aaron was only 44 and we had only been married for 5 years.

    I’m trying my best to stay connected to people but the emotions are so fragile and I just start crying.

    November 26, 2025 at 7:18 pm #43162
    VM_Grace June
    Participant

    Dear jotan80, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband Aaron. It seems that you had a most caring and loving relationship. The pain that you are going through sounds like it is immense, and I am so sorry this has happened to you. My heart goes out to you and Aaron’s young children and his family.
    The feelings you are going through are all normal part of the grieving process. It is normal that you feel guilty for not having been there by his side at such a time. You did what you thought was the best at that time and you were looking to care for him after the surgery.
    The feelings you are going through are normal such as the shock and feeling lost that you have mentioned because of such a sudden and unexpected loss.
    I hope you have someone to support you and talk to. You could also call the helpline at Griefline on 1300 845 745 from 8 am to 8 pm (7 days a week) to chat to a friendly volunteer about your feelings. There are a number of resources available on the Griefline website such as https://griefline.org.au/resources/when-a-loved-one-dies-guide-to-coping-with-grief-loss/
    Please do reach out and keep in touch through this online forum and the helpline. Please look after yourself. We are here to help and listen to you.

    November 26, 2025 at 7:08 pm #43161
    vmv_68
    Participant

    Hi Jotan80,

    I’m so, so sorry to hear about your husband’s passing. It sounds like it was incredibly unexpected and has left everyone in shock. It’s heartbreaking that he passed while you weren’t there, and I can’t imagine how painful that phone call from your mother-in-law must have been.

    It’s completely valid and normal for your emotions to feel overwhelming, especially in these early days. You and your family loved him deeply, and the weight of your grief reflects the depth of that love.

    I hope you have strong support around you and that you’re staying connected to the people you trust during this difficult time. Thank you for reaching out and allowing your emotions to come through in your message. Please know you’re not alone. You’re welcome to use Griefline’s resources as much as you need – the Helpline (1300 845 745, 8am–8pm), the website resources, and of course the forum — to support yourself throughout your grief journey.

    Please keep in touch here on the forum, and I truly hope you’re taking gentle care of yourself during this immense loss: your self care is of utmost importance.

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