I just want him back…it’s not fair!

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This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by VM-rose.

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October 15, 2023 at 8:53 pm #26707

erigreet
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Almost three weeks ago I lost my lil smiley guy. He was hit by a truck while I was walking him the day before his first birthday. I can’t stop feeling guilty about the whole situation. I wasn’t holding his lead as tight as I normally would because he was behaving himself and not pulling. But then he heard the truck and tried to chase it and got hit. I didn’t stop him, it all happened so fast and it’s all my fault. There are so many things I should have done differently in the days leading up to it and while on our walk that morning and they all would have meant this didn’t happen and I would still have him.
Harley was a black and white border collie and was the best impulsive decision I had ever made. When I moved from SA to VIC earlier this year, he became even more important to me. I didn’t know anyone and I didn’t make many friends. I have no support network here, but it didn’t matter because I had Harley. All I had to do was look at him and his giant smile would make everything right in the world. I loved spending time with him and I should have spent more time with him. I should have spent more time training him and then he wouldn’t have chased the truck. I should have walked him every single day, even if it was just for 15 minutes when it was raining and cold. He made everything better. He gave me a reason to get out of bed every day and his excitement when I’d come home would remind me that everything would be okay. But now that he’s gone I’m struggling. I don’t have anyone here to help me and all I want is to be able to give him a giant hug and take him out for a run and play fetch. He was too young, too happy to go this way. It’s not fair. I want him back. I need him back.
No one understands. Everyone whose lost their dog tells me it will hurt for a while, but they all had years with their dogs. Harley hadn’t even turned one yet, it’s not fair and they don’t get it. Others tell me they’re sick of me telling them I’m sad. And other friends promise they’ll ring me, but none of them have. I need Harley. He was the only support I had here and I just wish he would come back.
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April 3, 2024 at 5:01 pm #29103

VM-rose
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Hello @erigreet, I am deeply sorry to hear about the passing of your beautiful boy Harley. He sounded like the perfect companion and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. As mentioned by @vmpercy, grief has its own timeline, and it’s okay to feel all of your emotions. As mentioned by @vm-sage111, please don’t blame yourself for what happened. When you’re ready, you can call Griefline and speak with a trained volunteer on 1300 845 745 between the hours of 8am and 8pm, 7 days a week. You can also continue to connect with others by using the Griefline forum. It’s so important during this incredibly difficult time to connect with others who are going through grief and loss. There are also some great insights and coping strategies on the Griefline resources page: https://griefline.org.au/resources. You’ve taken a courageous first step by reaching out to Griefline. We’re here to listen and support you.

October 18, 2023 at 9:15 am #26735

vm-sage111
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I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is never easy, especially when they are so young and full of life. Harley sounds like he was a wonderful companion and friend to you. You have every right to feel sad and grieve for him. Please don’t blame yourself for what happened. It was a tragic accident that you couldn’t have prevented. You did your best to give Harley a happy and loving life. He knew how much you cared for him, and he loved you back. Nothing can take away the bond you shared with him.
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions when you lose a pet, such as shock, anger, guilt, depression, and loneliness. These feelings are part of the healing process; there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and everyone has their own pace and style. You don’t have to rush or hide your feelings. You can express them in whatever way works for you, such as writing a journal, making a scrapbook, or creating a memorial. It’s hard to imagine life without Harley, but I hope you can find some comfort in the memories you have of him. He will always be in your heart, and he would want you to be happy again. I hope this helps you in some way. I’m here if you want to talk more. Take care of yourself.

October 16, 2023 at 4:07 pm #26711

vmpercy
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I’m so incredibly sorry to hear about Harley. Your pain your love for him is clear in every word you’ve written. It’s natural to replay events and think about the “what ifs,” but guilt can be a heavy burden. Harley’s joy, his boundless energy, and that comforting smile of his, they were clearly a beacon of light in your life, especially during such a transitional period of moving and feeling isolated. It must be very hard to lose him. Your bond with him seems like a unique and deeply special one.

Remember, grief has its own timeline, and it’s okay to feel all the emotions that come with it. The grief of losing a pet, especially so suddenly and at such a young age, can be very overwhelming. I’ve attached an article I recommend you read: “Losing a Pet.” It might give you some understanding and comfort. This community is here for you, so feel free to write to us more about your experience.

Losing a Pet
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I just want him back…it’s not fair!

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