Sleep and grief: how to improve your sleep during loss

Published on July 30, 2026
5:38 pm

Sleep and grief are closely connected. When you are navigating loss, your mind and body are carrying an enormous amount - and that weight does not simply switch off at night. Difficulty falling asleep, waking throughout the night, or feeling unrefreshed in the morning are all common experiences for people who are grieving.

The good news is that sleep can improve, even during the hardest periods of grief. This page offers practical, evidence-informed steps you can take to support better sleep - starting tonight if you choose.

Key summary

✓ Grief and loss can significantly disrupt sleep. Prolonged stress makes it harder for the body to relax, leading to difficulty falling or staying asleep. With consistent changes to your evening routine, daytime habits and the way you manage thoughts around sleep, it is possible to improve your sleep quality even while grieving.

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Why grief disrupts sleep

Grief and loss can cause prolonged stress that makes it difficult for the body to relax, leading to difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep. If you are having distressing dreams or nightmares when you do sleep, you may be waking regularly and not getting the rest you need. Any change to your daily sleep routine can also disrupt your body's natural rhythms.

How to know if you have a problem

If you wake up feeling unrefreshed more often than you wake up feeling well rested, it is a good idea to examine your sleep health. You can keep a sleep diary, tracking when you go to sleep, when you wake up, and how you feel when you wake up. If you have been feeling stressed or anxious, the changes in your sleep pattern might surprise you.

Download the free Griefline sleep diary

How to improve your sleep

The key to improving your sleep is consistency. Whatever you decide to do, you need to stick to your plan for at least 3 to 4 weeks without making exceptions. You need this much time to notice real change and start to form a healthy habit.

Step 1: Managing your evening routine

Set a specific bedtime and stick to it. Make sure you go to bed at exactly the same time, every single night, for 3 to 4 weeks. You can work out a helpful evening routine by working backwards from there.

Time before bed	What to do
6+ hours	Stop having caffeine. This includes coffee, chocolate, soft drinks, energy drinks and teas. Caffeine can take up to 10 hours to fully clear your system.
5+ hours	Avoid strenuous exercise. Exercise wakes you up, so try to complete any vigorous activity at least 5 hours before bed.
4 hours	Have your evening meal and avoid a large supper later on. This gives your body time to digest before you sleep.
3 hours	Avoid alcohol, smoking and foods with added sugar. These all negatively affect sleep quality.
2 hours	Avoid drinking anything, including water. If you feel thirsty, try swishing water around your mouth and spitting it out.
1 hour	Wind down with passive activities. Watching television is fine but avoid it in the bedroom if possible. Avoid stimulating content like thrillers or work material.
Bedtime	Make your bedroom very dark. Put your phone away and do not check the time overnight - screen brightness makes you more alert.

Step 2: Managing your daytime routine

Once you have got a healthy evening routine in place, it is important to maintain your progress during the day.

Avoid napping: if you have not been sleeping well, it can be tempting to catch up on sleep during the day, but this will disrupt your overnight sleep further. Even if you feel sleepy during the day, try to hold off until your chosen bedtime.
Avoid spending extra time in bed: your bed should be associated with overnight sleep only. Try not to work, nap or rest there during the day.
If you get sleepy during the day: instead of napping, try getting up and doing something active, preferably something you enjoy. You can also try splashing your face with cold water.

Step 3: Managing your thoughts, feelings and beliefs around sleep

Sometimes your mental or emotional state may be interfering with your sleep - particularly if you are navigating grief, loss or a difficult life experience. Some people find themselves in a state of physical tension, others have difficulty quieting their thoughts, and others may develop strong negative associations with bedtime. Any kind of alertness or distress in your body, whether physical, mental or emotional, can make it hard to fall asleep and stay asleep.

You can also try our Tools for rest and relaxation for practical ways to manage these feelings yourself. However, it is a good idea to speak with a counsellor or doctor if any of these thoughts and feelings have been going on for a while.

Common questions about sleep and grief

Is it normal to have trouble sleeping when grieving?

Yes, sleep disruption is one of the most common experiences associated with grief and loss. Prolonged stress and emotional pain make it difficult for the body to fully relax, and distressing thoughts or dreams can interrupt sleep throughout the night.

How long does grief-related sleep disruption last?

This varies between individuals. For many people, sleep gradually improves as the acute phase of grief softens. However, without some attention to sleep habits, disruption can persist. If poor sleep has been ongoing for several weeks or more, it is worth speaking with a GP.

Why do I keep waking up during the night?

Grief-related stress keeps the nervous system in a state of heightened alert, which can cause frequent waking. Distressing dreams are also common and can wake you repeatedly. The steps on this page can help reduce nighttime waking over time with consistent practice.

When should I see a doctor about my sleep?

If poor sleep has been affecting your daily functioning for more than a few weeks, or if you are experiencing severe distress, it is a good idea to speak with your GP. They can help rule out any underlying causes and discuss options including therapy or other support.

Finding support

If sleep difficulties are part of a broader experience of grief or loss, you do not have to navigate it alone.

Griefline provides free and confidential support for Australians 18+ navigating grief and loss. Speaking with a trained volunteer, joining a support group or connecting with others in community forums can offer space to share what you are carrying.

You are also welcome to read our rest and relaxation resources or visit the contact page to learn more.

References

Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2024). Mental health and wellbeing in Australia.
National Sleep Foundation. Grief and sleep: understanding the connection.
Walker, M. (2017). Why We Sleep: The New Science of Sleep and Dreams. Scribner.

Griefline support resources

If you are navigating grief, you do not have to face it alone.

The following resources can help you find support, connect with others who understand, and access practical tools for living with grief.

Griefline helpline - free support, 365 days a year, call 1300 845 745
Griefline online forums for peer-to-peer support and connection

Crisis and emergency support

Griefline is not a crisis-support or emergency support service.

If you are in an emergency situation or are at immediate risk of harming yourself or others, please call 000.

If you are in crisis, or are worried about yourself or someone else, please contact Lifeline by phoning 13 11 14 or by texting 0477 13 11 14.

Kids Helpline is available 24/7 to support young people aged between five and 25, call 1800 551 800.

For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, 13YARN offers a free, confidential crisis support line - call 13 92 76, available 24/7.

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