Losing my Beautiful girl Lady

[samc]

A couple of days ago I lost my best friend and my first baby. Her name was Lady and she was British bulldog with a bit of staffy in her and she was turning 13 this year. The hardest thing for me was that I was the one who found her and she had already passed. I keep asking myself if only I had been there an hour earlier or half an hour earlier. I know I can’t be thinking like that and I knew she was getting old and the time would eventually come but I never wanted to believe it would happen so soon. She was struggling to walk because of her arthritis and we thought she may have also had some doggy dementia. I’m so thankful for her as she was beside me always when I was at home. I’ve been suffering through back pain for many years and she was always by my bedside when I couldn’t get up and move around. When a lot of friends dropped away she was my constant best buddy and I’m devastated that she’s no longer here. The mornings when I first get up are the hardest because I would always walk into the kitchen and she would be there usually snoring away on her favourite pillow. I miss by buddy so much

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[VM-angel33]

Hi @samc

Thank you for reaching out on Griefline’s forums.
I am so sorry for the loss of Lady. Losing a pet companion is so difficult because they become a large part of our world and can feel like family.

I can hear that this loss is quite painful. Please know that it’s not your fault you didn’t find her sooner. It sounds like you took care of her so well and I am sure she lived a wonderful life with you.

Please know that Griefline is here to support you through our helpline, if you would like a listening ear.

Wishing you all the best and take care of yourself.

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @panthergirlcc,

It sounds like you are struggling a lot with losing Aztec and Shelley so recently, and so close to each other. That’s a lot to cope with all at once; especially when they were such important presences in your life.

I do hope you are able to take good care of yourself while all this unfolds for you. The link below is focussed on self-care, as it is not unusual for people in grief to put their own basic needs aside for a while.

Your GP is a great place to start, if panic attacks, sleep disturbance, anxiety, depression, stress and exhaustion are impacting on your daily life.

Please keep engaging with your loss community here on the forums, if that is helpful for you, and you are welcome to call the Helpline during open hours if you feel up to talking.

Kindness

A gentle guide to self-care after loss: The E.A.S.T. approach

[panthergirlcc]

I am so sorry to hear this. I am struggling so bad myself. I lost my beautiful boy Aztec (my cat) cos vets wouldn’t help & give him an operation they made him wait punped him full of drugs he got sicker & sicker cos he couldn’t eat. When they finally listened & gave him the operation he got acute kidney injury & couldn’t recover. I was so devasted & a few weeks later my girl cat Shelley who was keeping me company when trying to recover starting having breathing difficulties & had to have a lung drainage done twice. I brought her home cos she was so distressed in the hospital without me as she was blind due to another vets negilgence back in 2021. She a couple of days later got diagnosed with an aggressive Carcinoma (cancer) I was told she only had a week to live. I lost her last week & that was both my babies in 1.5 months gone. I don’t have a partner or mucb family so they were my everything. I am not coping well at all. Anx havehad panic attacks,bad dreams, anxiety, depression & stress with exhaustion from not sleeping well. I don’t know what to do. I posted on my Facebook that I was struggling & got penalised claiming my post was suicidal but it wasnt & that actual cut me off more. I have lost my faith in God, tarot, the universe & everything I believed in
I used to be the most positive personal eho lifted everyone elseup. But I can barely evenget out of bed for a shower. I want to feel better but I don’t know how. I am in so much pain.

[VM-Serenity66]

Dear @samc

Lady sounds like such a lovely companion, and it certainly seems like she was treated like a lady for the whole of the life that she spent with you. I am very familiar with the profound and personal way that little creatures become a part of our lives, and members of our household and families. It is no surprise then, that we should mourn them as such when they pass. The absence of their presence in the home can bring an awful strangeness and sadness to the familiar.

It is quite normal for people to feel regrets for what might be seen as missed, or wished-for opportunities. At the same time, how beautiful that Lady got to spend her final moments in the home, and with the person, that she loved, and who clearly loved her so well. None of this, of course, makes her passing any less painful.

I hope the article below is helpful as you navigate your loss of Lady. Please continue to connect with us here on the forum, and do feel welcome to call the Helpline on 1300 845 745 during open hours, if you would like to have a gentle conversation about Lady with a caring volunteer. Your story is welcome, and your experience matters to us.

Kindness

How To Grieve For A Pet – Understanding Your Grief

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