Just so sad…

[sadgal]

I lost my father less than 2 weeks ago & we laid him to rest last week. His passing was a shock to us. Yes he was sick but only from what we thought was acute asthma. In reality it was a heart related issue that resulted in multiple organ failure. He was in ED then moved to a ward where staff just kept telling us he was “ok” clearly he wasn’t. I’m so ANGRY but I’m just so heartbroken. I cry every single day (multiple times) & I just feel like the world has moved on & I’m expected to do the same! Does this sadness ever end?!

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[VM-Serenity66]

Dear sadgal,

Your pain is so recent and raw. It is quite understandable that you would be crying every day. Losing your father suddenly would have been a terrible shock, especially if his condition was not well understood. It is normal for a whole range of emotions to bubble up while grieving. Anger is one of them, especially when you are not in control of what is happening, like in a hospital. Your deep sadness is a beautifully normal response, and part of the cost of loving someone all the way to the end of their life and beyond. Watching the rest of the world seem to get on with business can be really hard to understand when you are in so much pain, and it’s something that lots of people talk about.

I can’t tell you when your sadness will end, although I am confident that over time it will change. Things are likely to be up and down for a while. Most people find things settling down after weeks, or months, although everyone is different. The most important thing is that you take good care of yourself while it moves through by doing the simple things, like eating well, getting enough sleep, and staying connected to people you trust.

If you feel ready, you are always welcome to talk to a caring Griefline volunteer on 1300 845 745 during open hours, or keep chatting with us here on the forum. I hope you find some help and comfort in the self-help resources too.

https://griefline.org.au/resources

[Author]

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