Loss of a father

I have recently joined this forum. I lost my father just under a year ago and I am still struggling. He was my best friend, my confidant and my guide. I never anticipated that he would pass so suddenly. It’s now nearly been a year and there are times where I fill my day to get by, or naturally fill it knowing I must go on. But deep down I miss him so much, I think of him as so many moments pass during the day. I still don’t understand why, I know so many people, all people have their own set of problems in life but how does one move forward. I miss him more than I can put into words. I feel he was taken too suddenly and I wasn’t ready to lose my father. I’ve changed the way I approach life so much, done all the “right things” because I do want to do them, I’m meditating now, exercising, taking care of myself more, but deep down why do I feel that there will always be this deep sadness.