Forum Replies Created
December 3, 2022 at 12:25 pm in reply to: Mum passing away during going through delayed grief/depression with Dads death #23715stillsadParticipant
Hi Paul – you will definitely beat the depression because you have said you will and that optimism is a massive step forward. I will take on your advice and try and find a good counsellor asap. Take care.
I’m very sorry about your brother. Be kind to yourself too. Take care.
Thank you. It feels like it is a living hell most days and that I need to wake up from this nightmare…and then I remember my husband has died and everything is real. It’s hard trying to pick up all the pieces of our lives and put them back together to make sense of it all, to keep the girls on track and to believe we have some sort of future where we are not just surviving the bad reality but feeling some joy or something more than the pain and the grief. Thank you to you and everyone who has responded – thank you – I feel very alone most of the time and the grief is really overwhelming. Some workmates and other friends, including one of my daughters godparent who I thought were close friends have not been in touch so I feel like a leper and they obviously cannot deal with any of this so they have decided to not do or say anything which is really hurtful. Thank you to all in our grief community – there are so many people grieving and hurting and it is forums like this that help us. Sending love to everyone.
Thank you. I am heartbroken for you – I understand your devastation and deciding to live. Our road is a hard one. Wish I could give you a hug too. Sending you lots of hugs.
Thank you. It’s been a long, hard few months. I have a brother who lives in the same town as me (he is married and with adult kids with their own families) – he has been fantastic. His wife I feel like she avoids me and avoids interacting with me – just too hard for her I suppose. I also have a sister interstate (but who has her own health issues so can’t be with me), who calls me everyday and lets me vent or whatever I need. We (my girls and I) now have a regular GP and I’ve started seeing a psychologist (have been to 3 appointments so far) which I’m finding does help. My girls are on the cancellation waitlist as well. I listen to an assortment of grief podcasts when I can’t sleep, until I drop off in the wee hours or I watch a world movie on SBS until I drop off from exhaustion. I’ve relocated from our bedroom into the lounge room downstairs to make a makeshift bedroom of sorts. Life is very different and feels so strange. Nights are eerily too quiet and that’s when I probably overthink everything and the grief and sadness take over. I’m a doer – I like being really busy – so mostly I try to keep really busy to the point of exhaustion.December 2, 2022 at 8:37 pm in reply to: Mum passing away during going through delayed grief/depression with Dads death #23709Paul sParticipant
Sorry for your losses, especially your mum recently. Nothing can prepare you fully when you lose someone you love. Its ok to feel guilty,angry at the moment. Be gentle on yourself though, your human, with emotions, and the grief will bring all sorts of the most deeply felt pain in you, at any time it wants. Keep on reading the book when you can and talking to someone you confide in, or councellor, etc. Thats the hardest part im finding, talking it out with soneone, as my councellor is ok but i need abit more. Journaling helps, but, referring to your question about spirituality, ive turned to god alot also recently, and i talk and express my pain to him. I have faith and believe your loved ones are always watching you and with you, and i talk to my dad constantly every day,,as i used to when he was alive. It feels good, to share things with him still, and they both are helping me in lots of ways, that ive seen still, so their spirit never dies, and they are always in your heart and mind. In regards to god, ive found, he has helped and guided me through this incredibly tough period in my life, and he continues too, even though i do question his,ways sometimes and get angry abit with him. Its hard to see the goodness sometimes and how he works, but then he turns around and comforts and guides me, so ill never doubt him, thats forsure, even with the deep, dark hole im in at the moment, going through this debilitating, nuisance of a deoression, which ive promised myself ill beat it in everyway, no matter how long it takes
Hope this helps.
PaulDecember 2, 2022 at 8:04 pm in reply to: Mum passing away during going through delayed grief/depression with Dads death #23707Paul sParticipant
Just letting you know ive read the book and it was very useful. Ive also signed up in megans fb webpage for the 30 day journal course, which is really good and libks you to the support group, who are all doing it also, to share youre experiences.
Im dreading xmas, I spent last year looking after Mum, who had Dementia,and my doing so, split my family apart. I have no regrets looking after Mum. Im not only mourning mum but my extended family. Mum would be devastated for me, knowing as a result of following her wishes, I have no family,any more. I dont want to reconcile with my sisters, but my niece and her chilren,I do. Christmas to me is about kids. I reached out, no response.
I was spoilt up until mums decline, as she would make me xmas cake every year. I am full of emotions, hurt and anger about family and deep sorrow, missing Mum.
Vmsapphire hits nail on head about the “firsts”
Excruciating is the feeling I have.
Im so grateful to have found Griefline, and can speak openly with out being judged.
Many ThanksDecember 2, 2022 at 4:54 pm in reply to: Mum passing away during going through delayed grief/depression with Dads death #23703stillsadParticipant
Thanks Maree. Talking to our beloveds sounds like a good strategy – whether graveside or not – just talking through thoughts and having conversations (imaginary & real) I’m sure can help smooth out emotions and clarify our feelings. A little internal dialogue can’t hurt right? Hopefully in time you can make it back to your dad’s resting place without it hurting so much. Take care xDecember 2, 2022 at 10:36 am in reply to: Any good grief councillor/ psychologist recommendation #23700VM – believeinyouParticipant
Talking to your GP would be a great start as they can recommend a counsellor or psychologist that is local to your area. Otherwise, there is an online resource you could use to search for services called https://askizzy.org.au/. When you enter your location, it will provide services in your area.
Mental health practitioners are also very accommodating to people in financial hardship. They can offer a reduced rate if you speak to them about your situation.
Good on you for identifying that you need regular visits to help you along your journey. It can be tricky navigating services and finding the support you need. But there is help available. Feel free to reply back to this message for any further assistance.