[annapink23]

My darling grandma who was everything to me passed away last week. I am from Ireland so I haven’t seen her in a few months, however have a trip planned in June. In our last conversation we spoke about how excited we were to see each other in June but sadly that was not to be.
I am struggling with this immense and overwhelming grief for the first time in my life. It’s a struggle to do anything. I don’t want to do anything I found joy in before. My partner has been very supportive however I am lonely as my parents are back in Ireland and although we speak twice a day, I feel sad I am not with them and am missing the funeral. I feel guilty I should be at home however the journey is so long and my parents put me off coming back as I’m coming in June…

I can’t seem to see any light in this dark dark time. I feel hopeless and lonely.

• This topic was modified 1 day, 3 hours ago by annapink23.

[midnights]

Hi @davejack ,

Thank you for posting. I recently lost my cattle dog x kelpie of 15 years. She was also very energetic and it’s hard to adjust to life without her.
I’m also struggling with the decision to put her down, and I’ve been thinking of it as ‘the hardest responsiblity that we have as owners’.
I hope you’re doing okay.

[midnights]

Thank you @VMGeorge553

Yes, thankfully I have a few people who I can talk to.

[debsayge]

Yes Moon, all those years of care love fear terror, now it’s just the horror we are left with, that it’s our darlings……every rage and every tear over and over is our desperate searing love for our babies…and .and honours our love for our children. Clara says in one of her short talks, child loss needs it’s own catagory, as there’s no end to the pain we feel, they are part of us as mothers, we’ve lost ourselves, that’s what people do not understand….and why the pain is impossible to bare…..and especially dear Moon in these horrifying illnesses…. I think about you in that place of yr after terrifying year , often, I think we hold our breath all that time…… this is now us breathing out of course it’s angry, we’ve every right to be and we are, you are not alone in this Moon, see some of the stories posted on her site, there are many of us and it’s important to know they mostly feel as we do, and not afraid to say so…..it’s way to hard alone
Honestly love to you and Your Jeremy
XxDeb

[Moon]

Hi deb, thinking of you always, merde, 14 months, still wake in early hours, walk in his bedroom at 3am, to check for 10 years, but he is dead

[debsayge]

Hello to all grieving people, so sad we are all even here in our despair….
Hello dear Moon, really just letting you know I’m always holding you in my heart, and thankful to you for staying with me….I wanted to ask you if there was a chance we could connect directly, if you’d just like to chat on the phone maybe (I find talking exhausting but I’m sure you’d get that) if you’d like us to maybe we could ask the facilitators??? I really wish to keep in touch and quite certain you don’t have many to talk with, same as me…..
Also just wished to share that I’ve found another site, specific to child loss called silent grief.com by Clara Hinton, has also a book, which I’ve ordered, there is also a support group which I am considering for more support as I’ve none, same group, it is helping me feel not as crazy as I read and listen to other mothers share. Clara is a bereaved mumma twice, I feel she’s so very insightful and more importantly, to me, reverent in her manner of sharing her hard earned wisdom, anyway maybe have a watch n see how it sits…..
I just feel such desperation to find some understanding that her words are from a deep deep understanding and care for our child loss I’m hoping you find something in there too….
Much love to you for our enduring this pain
Let me know if you wish to
XxDeb

[vmzef]

Dear Dave
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a beloved pet can be really hard, and it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by sadness and anger. It’s important to remember that you did the best thing for Jack out of love. You are not alone in your feelings; we are here to listen and support you wherever we could. I would like to suggest this recourse for you, as it might be helpful in some way. https://griefline.org.au/resources/losing-a-pet/

[davejack]

Oh Jack was an amazing little guy, he loved everyone! I used to call him ‘Happy Jack’ because his tail was always wagging…
I’m finding it incredibly hard not being able to cuddle him and talk to him and I keep asking for a sign from Jack to let me know that he is ok?

[VM-Algos]

Hey Dave,

I can definitely empathise with your sadness and anger, and even your guilt at making the decision to put Jack to sleep. I’ve had to make that call myself, and it’s a hard choice to have to make even when it’s absolutely the right one.

From what I know of Jack Russells, they’re rather fearless and incredibly smart. Does that sound like Jack? What was he like?

[davejack]

Hi, I’m new here and just had my Jack Russell “Jack” put to sleep due to old age…
My biggest struggle is not being able to cuddle or pat him ever again or feel his warmth on my lap, he was an amazing little guy who was always there for me!
I’m really angry at the moment that we both had to go through this, I’m also concerned that Jack will hate me for the decision I made (I know it’s just my mind playing tricks on me)
I feel so sad 😞

[Author]

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