Lost my 16yr old Daughter to Cancer

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  • This topic has 14 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by Moon.
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  • #19877
    KB2146
    Participant

    Almost 9 months ago I lost my 16 yr old daughter to Cancer. We battled Neuroblastoma for 3 years until there were not more treatments.
    I dont know if I have really even started to grieve.
    I feel like I have lost my purpose in life and I just go through the daily motions. I still have my 11 year old Son and other aspects of my life are good but I dont find any joy in things anymore. I still cry daily and wish for her back. I will never be ok with her being ripped out of my life. I don’t feel like I will ever truly experience happiness again. I dont know if I can continue to put on a happy face when my whole world has fallen to pieces. I no longer fear dying because I feel like each day that passes I am one day closer to being with her again (I do not think about harming myself)
    Does it get better?

Viewing 4 replies - 11 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #20158
    Moon
    Participant

    Hi there, I hear your words, they echo mine. I lost my 19yr old son to cancer-related complications just 3 months ago.
    If ever you want to chat, I feel like I am in the same space as you.
    One of the participants posted on my thread about a support group coming up in May. I wonder if you were also invited?
    I’ve never done zoom before, but know I really need this. Hope there were some bright moments in your day xx

    #20156
    VMsunflower
    Participant

    I am so pleased you are reaching out and expressing your feelings about the tragic loss of your daughter at such a young age. We never expect our children to go before us and I cannot begin to imagine how that feels. I can relate to the feelings of not wanting to go on and the inability to enjoy life around you. I had a very dear friend who lost her son at the age of 10 and although she had other sons she too found it so difficult, however in time she was able to move forward and now enjoys the thrill of embracing grandchildren. My own daughter has been very ill and we too have had to face the very real thought of losing her, but she continues to fight for her young family. I have kept a journal and I find that being able to write and express my feelings so helpful. It helps me work through and recognise what feelings I am dealing with. I write about the hard times but also record the many “fun” times we have together.
    It will take time, but it will get better. Be kind to yourself.

    #20112
    Moon
    Participant

    Hi there, I understand your grief. I just joined this forum, you’ll find me under ‘buried my son xmas eve’ xxx

    #19884
    VM-Jade
    Participant

    Hi KB2146, thank you so much for sharing your story and I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter at such a young age. I’m really hearing that you and your family carried a lot of heavy emotion over the last 3 years when she was sick, and continue to carry that heavy grief now she is no longer with us. I can’t imagine what that feels like for you, our grief journeys are all so different. I do want to validate that what you are describing is really normal – it’s normal to feel a bit lost and not have joy in your life, and to question if/when you will feel that way again are suffering such a loss. I also want you to be aware that it’s okay to NOT wear a happy face all the time – it’s so important to allow yourself the space and time to acknowledge and really feel all the emotion that is coming up for you. As uncomfortable as that may feel for you, it really does allow the brain to process some of what we are feeling. If we continue to really feel the pain we are in, it gives us permission to start to make some sense of the situation and start to heal that wound. At this time, it is so important to surround yourself with the loving arms of your support network who can lift us up and carry us when it’s just too much to bear. That may be loved ones, family, friends or even a trained counsellor or psychologist. Your GP is also a great support – they can recommend some people or further treatments should you need it.It really helps to find multiple people who make you feel validated and supported.

    Griefline have some great resources, here are some articles I’ve found that may assist you during this time. Please remember that we have trained volunteers who are on the end of the phone if you want to need to speak with someone. Please be kind, gentle and patient with yourself – it must be so difficult to carry those feelings of grief. Take care

    Coping with Grief

    Grief, Loss and Trauma

Viewing 4 replies - 11 through 14 (of 14 total)
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