Lost both parents in 2 months and I feel responsible for both of their deaths

[leighstott]

My Father passed away on October 21 due a fall related to type 2 diabetes. He became hypoglycaemic and passed out. He sustained rib and back fractures and because he was on blood thinning medication his blood wouldn’t clot and subsequently died from the injuries.

Five days later my Mum had Colorectal Surgery to remove a tumour. I took 6 weeks off work to care for Mum. Around 8 weeks after her surgery Mum suffered a stroke and hit her head. We didn’t find her for 24 hours and there was nothing the Doctors could do. She passed away on December 23rd.

I feel completely responsible for both of my parents deaths. I had noticed my Father wasn’t eating and looking well and I should have realised the risks of this with him being a type 2 diabetic. I noticed my Mum was slurring the odd word too and I offered to take her to the Doctor but she didn’t want to go. I should have just rung a bloody ambulance and she would still be here.

The guilt and shame I have is so strong. Sleep is difficult and if I do manage to sleep nightmares are common. I feel like I deserve all this plus more as my inaction has cost both of my parents their lives.

They were the most important people in my life and now I have no one.

Topic

[leighstott]

Thank you for your thoughtful message Sunflower.

I am up and down, it’s true what they say about grief, it comes and goes in waves. I managed to get back to work for 3 days a week last week which was a breakthrough. I am trying to honour my parents with my actions which I think is a positive way of going about life now.

The Griefline website has helped me in in so many way, thanks again for your message and support.

Leigh.

[VMsunflower]

Hi Leigh

Wonderful to hear that you have managed to breakthrough and return to work.
Yes grief certainly comes and goes in waves, but I am grateful that those waves become less overwhelming and less often.
I am sure your parents would be so proud and happy to see your slowly moving forward.
Sharing our grief journey with others who understand is soooo helpful.

Take good care of you
Sunflower

[Author]

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