Home › Forums › Loss of a loved one › Lost both parents in 2 months and I feel responsible for both of their deaths › Reply To: Lost both parents in 2 months and I feel responsible for both of their deaths
Hi Leigh – I’ve just joined this forum and read your post.
Firstly, my condolences for your immense loss. Both parents within two months is devastating. You’ve had so much to deal with during those two months, supporting your mum while dealing with the loss of your dad, and then your mum’s stroke and death. I’m so sorry.
My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly yesterday and since then I’ve thought a lot about the things I could have done that might have made a difference. The ‘what ifs’ can quickly become all-consuming and it’s hard not to feel responsible. But none of what happened to your parents was within your control. Did other people around your father (such as your mum) express concern about his eating? Would it have made any difference if they had? It sounds like you did the best you could to take care of your mother. You couldn’t have predicted she’d have a stroke. You were there for her – ultimately you couldn’t prevent her death and neither could anyone else.
Do you have siblings or others who were helping take care of your parents? Can you talk to them about your feelings? You’ve endured a terrible, protracted trauma and it’s taking a severe toll on you. Please call a grief counselling service, you do not deserve these feelings of guilt and shame and you don’t need to bear this burden alone – help is there for you.