Thank you for sharing Scully. I’ve recently lost my brother suddenly when he took his own life, he had tried once before 17 years ago because of severe mental illness and was resuscitated but acquired brain injury because his brain was deprived of oxygen.
Lately he was becoming more aggressive and arrogant towards me and my Muma, so I left the house and was living in my bus so not to be a trigger for him at home. He was coming off clozapine as well which is what happened last time, his medication was reduced drastically and when that happens suicide ideation can happen.
My brother was a spontaneous man to begin with, so with the schizophrenia and brain injury he was completely vulnerable to these thoughts and impulses. As well as losing our beloved older brother a year before his first attempt. Which is why he ended up spiralling down in the first place.
This time his decline was much quicker and more sudden. He will be deeply missed by all, he won a lot of hearts in his short time here. The shock and trauma of it all is overwhelming some (most) days. This time I’m being proactive with my grieving, I regret not seeking resources and counselling when our older brother passed and my other brothers first attempt happened.
Self-care, talking to friends, family and strangers, finding new resources and connecting with others whom have shared experience.
Stay king to yourself,