@justme, I am so sorry for your loss, thank you so much for showing so much courage in sharing how you feel. It is totally understandable that you are feeling exhausted and miserable, especially when dealing with the clean-up of your mother’s house on your own. You sound like a very caring and giving person to be taking on such a task on your own and have shown a lot of courage in reaching out on the online forums for help.
Griefline also has a Helpline if you ever want to talk to someone over the phone which operates 8 am-8 pm Monday-Friday (AEST). As part of grief, and coping with this loss, navigating your turbulent relationship with your mother and reflecting on the past is totally normal but nevertheless never easy, to help you through this, Griefline has some great recourses such as this link about how to cope with grief and loss: https://griefline.org.au/resources/living-with-loss-and-grief/.
Grief is different for everybody and unfortunately is not quick and easy to get through, It sounds like you are feeling very overwhelmed with processing your feelings around your mum, so, please continue to write on the forum as talking to others, especially those who are going through similar situations can be incredibly healing and can help you get through this.
I hope you found this post useful, and please reach out again and let us know how you are going